Welcome to a new Man- day post from Jensguy!
OK, In going back to Jennifer’s List of Songs That Need to be Retired, she forgot to list one of the most schmaltzy tunes we have to deal with during the Holidays, the insipid “My Grown-Up Christmas List.”
I’m picking on Amy Grant because I love her and owned ALL of her Christmas albums BEFORE I married Jennifer. It takes a big man to admit that.
I know some of you are going to complain that it is sweet and has feeling, and that we should all be wishing for World Peace, and that I am a heartless monster. Hear me out. Here is a section of the Lyrics:
But heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up Christmas list
What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth
Seriously, you want Santa just to wrap that up and deliver it? Because here is the thing; he can’t. God can help, but he won’t just deliver all that unaided. It is OUR job to work on these things. It is OUR responsibility individually to make the world better for those around us and nobody can lift that responsibility off of our shoulders, nor should we want them to. Who can help heal a hurting human soul? You can, right now. Pick up the phone and call that person you know you have been needing to call for months. Time CAN heal hearts, but it requires forgiveness, and we ALL have work to do in that area. Everyone we know CAN have a friend, that is pretty easy, we just have to be that friend. And each one of us can love and help others love more. As for Wars, I can’t really help there, and “the right will always win” is kind of silly because “right” is highly subjective between different people. Each side of every issue feels that they are “right.”
Here is a schmaltzy song pushing MY point of view.
Now, with that out of the way, here is what your man wants for Christmas.
1. Every man wants a Leatherman. If he already HAS a Leatherman, he wants a better one. It’s that simple. . .
2. Sound system upgrade. Ideally 5.1 wireless surround sound. If this is not an option, a sound bar will do in a pinch (go with the sub-woofer. He is worth it):
3. Infrared Grill. It cooks at 700 degrees! Not for beginners. You know how the draw of the George Foreman Grill is that it transfers the fat and oil out of your meat? An infrared grill does just the opposite. It KEEPS all of that fatty and juicy goodness in the meat by searing the outside quickly. It’ll make your pork chops taste closer to bacon and crispy/tender your burgers perfectly in a few minutes. Also sets the grill marks perfectly to make him look like a pro. If this is not in the budget, grilling accessories and spices are always welcome, like a good container of mesquite rub.
4. He thinks you would look darling in this hat:
5. But most of all, he wants to see the Wonder of Christmas reflected by his Children. There is a real possibility that he is more excited for your children’s Christmas than they are, even if he never admits it.
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