Yes you read that right.
Other people are sharing their reindeer food recipes and how to wrap a present with raffia tutorials and over here on JENerally Informed I am talking about sex.
Let me explain.
I have been published on several syndicated sites and quite frequently some of these sites will send me emails with calls for stories. Last week I received the following writing prompt:
We’re calling for your best sex stories and the more unique and personal the better, though rest assured, we’re not asking for anything that you’d be uncomfortable sharing!
To get you started, We’ve included a few ideas below that might inspire you to write:
- Sex Confessions: something you like that you’ve never told anyone about, something you tried and regret, etc.
- The crazy way you lost your virginity: the more outlandish the story the better.
- What X taught me: here you would write about a specific sexual experience and what you learned from it.
The caveat of course being the following that was included at the bottom of the email….
Note: this is not a sponsored opportunity, but we’ll let you know if we have any of those in the future.
So let me get this straight, you want me to share personally intimate and possibly embarrassing stories and to do it all for free? Isn’t that kind of like the bumper sticker that some truckers sport that says, “Show me your ___!”
Color me unimpressed. By either pitch.
It’s not that I am afraid to talk about sex, it is just the opposite. As a mother I feel strongly that sex should be an open, honest and oft frequented topic. What I find offensive is exploitation, even if it is just the mild sort.
I remember as a young girl reading Teen magazines during a time when you could submit your stories anonymously via a letter to the editor. In this way you could get whatever reinforcement or advice you desired, without having your name and personal information made public. But I doubt the syndicated site seeking stories would follow that same rule. Honestly, your anonymity has a better shot of staying intact when showing your stuff to the trucker.
Not that I am advocating that type of behavior.
I have shared before that our family no longer has cable. We don’t miss it. I do find it fairly terrifying how teens are currently portrayed through movies, TV and of course “reality” shows. Were we to believe these modern portrayals of teens to be the standard for teenage beahvior, then one might be interested to learn the following from a recent sampling of teenage boys from Seventeen magazine.
Now I know you are thinking Seventeen, but take a look:
- 45% of teen boys in this sample were still virgins and 40% were not looking for sex or hook-ups. Many were not in a rush to have sex and may actually regret moving too fast. Further 45% had had sex with someone and regretted it afterward, and almost half said it is good to wait to have sex until you’re married.
- 78% say there is way too much pressure from society to have sex.
So where is the pressure on these the youngest in our society coming from?
I believe it is from their parents, older mentors, and mass media feeding it to them in ever-increasing doses. It’s the law of supply and demand in effect. When we ourselves engage in and support sexually exploitative literature, movies, music, and articles, then that demand will eventually spill over to younger demographics. Adding the prefix “adult” isn’t really fooling anyone.
So yes how we talk about sex matters, especially for the youngest and most vulnerable within our care. Trivializing the conversation, like the request I received is JUST not helping. It makes sex trashy, seedy and is a weak attempt at trying to lure readers in with the whole “clickbait” factor.
Dr Laura Berman had the following to say on a taping of the Oprah show, “The talk shouldn’t only be about STD prevention and pregnancy. It’s also about empowerment. You don’t want her to have sex right now. … But you eventually want her to have a fulfilling, happy, loving, intimate sex life. When the time comes, she’s that much more likely to make those healthy decisions since she feels good about who she is as a sexual person and not just give away that gift to anybody—the first time or any time.”
How is that for a concept? Focusing on helping our children to make healthy sexual decisions in order to empower them. I wish this were how we were talking about sex and still have hope that we can.
Stay Happy! Stay Informed!
Love,
Jen
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