Does Your Toddler Need An Exorcist?

In Parenting by Jen

Each time I give birth to a sweet, tiny little baby I hold my bundle of joy in my arms completely repressing the knowledge that there will come a point where that same child, for at least a while, will be completely possessed by demons.  The world refers to this unspeakable horror as “The Toddler Years.”

Those of you who are still relishing in that first year of baby bliss probably can’t imagine such a thing, but it will happen, and it will happen hard, fast, and messy.

I know people who could write their entire life goals on a single gum wrapper, but have four, completely indexed, single-spaced volumes of plans for what they will do should the Zombie Apocalypse take place.  Toddler-hood is kind of like that, but on a grander scale. The problem is that all of your planning and preparation is all for nothing, because, unlike dealing with the slow relentless wall of the undead, the mood of a toddler is fluid, unpredictable, and contains no logic. It is different from child to child, day to day, and even minute to minute.

One moment you will have a sweet and smiling child that radiates sunshine and happiness……

In just a matter of minutes that perfectly beautiful child can morph from that into this:

Here are just a few of the reasons that my little Princesses threw Godzilla-like tantrums this week:

  • I wouldn’t let her hit the dog with a wooden spoon.
  • I would not let her climb into the dishwasher.
  • She was not allowed to jump from the top of the stairs.
  • I attempted to change her diaper.
  • Her Dad stopped her from eating soap.
  • We would not let her poke the bunny with a fork (she had to have been hiding that fork for days like a prisoner with a homemade shiv).
  • Her brother stopped her from jumping onto his head (On the fourth attempt. He gave her the first three.)

Pretty much at this point my primary goal is to prevent her from killing or maiming herself and others for just one more day, until we reach that blissful panacea just between Toddler-hood and the pre-teen years. We will discuss the pre-teen years in a different post, which might I add is happening simultaneously in our home alongside the toddler years.

That is why I am looking forward to leaving my little Godzilla in the very capable hands of her doting Father and siblings for a chance to attend a Disney Social Media Moms On The Road Tour this Wednesday.  How exciting is THIS!!! I will fill you in on the details when I get back.

So to all of my friends out there sometimes the best way to deal with your own little Godzilla is to “Runn Oft”.  Wish me luck!

Stay Happy! Stay Informed!