Recently I wrote a post about 5 things you can do right now to be more happy. It seemed to really resonate with quite a few readers. One of the points I included in the post that would help each of us to be more happy was to stop caring what other people think about us. Quite a few of you shared that doing that is quite a challenge. I hear you. I have a big heart and really care about people and sometimes that has morphed into the ugly beast of worrying too much about what others think about me.
I am sure that I am not the only person who has ever experienced that same beast. It really is ugly and I am not a fan when it rears it’s head. So here are a few ways that I help myself to kick that self conscious beast to the curb!
Take Stock
I am a big believer in only encouraging and allowing those people and things into my life that bring me happiness. If you suck me dry without giving back and aren’t one of my under age children then you are gone. Seriously, toxic friends are given that name for a reason. Get rid of them. It may hurt for a bit, but in the long run you will be so much happier you moved on from them.
Also, make sure to periodically evaluate if the things you are doing are beneficial to yourself and your family. If you are doing something to impress others, get rid of that too. Seriously, who cares!
Accept Yourself For Who You Are
If you can see yourself as perfectly imperfect and still see yourself as someone worthy of love and respect that is huge!
I am a hot mess. For reals. Some days I have my crap together. Some days I don’t. I have BIG curly hair and forget most of the time to wear make-up. That is who I am, but I know that I am a good person, worthy of both love and respect and so if you can’t give that to me then I am going to spend my valuable time and energy elsewhere.
Another good way to remind you of both your worth and value might be to write a list down about your best qualities or ask someone you love to write one for you. Then whip that list out when you need it. It will help remind you on those less than stellar days of the good that is a part of you and the good that you do.
Oh and remember this. It is important.
Be Authentic
I am who I am pretty much 24 hours a day. It takes way too much effort to pretend to be something I’m not. This doesn’t mean you have to try hard to always “keep it real.” Promoting yourself, even your true “you” unnaturally has it’s own set of problems.
I think you will find that others will respond positively to you when they know that you are honest about who you are and they learn who you are by your interactions with others. Remember doing so speaks volumes more than telling.
Learn How To Shake It Off
One night 14 years ago after I had just given birth to my first child I realized that we were short on a critical grocery item. My husband was willing to go to the grocery store, but I really wanted the few minutes solitude a quick trip to the store would afford me, so I literally grabbed my purse and ran for the door. Not caring one bit how I looked.
While in the store, a few teens looked over at me and snickered at what I was wearing. I looked down and realized my pants were kind of high watered and those were matched by an over large shirt to ease my engorged breasts and with the finishing touch of ratty tennis shoes I did kind of look like a fashion victim. I felt embarrassed for about a minute and then I thought I just freaking gave birth to a tiny and perfect human being! I was exhausted and leaking breast milk everywhere, but I knew I had accomplished something AMAZING! So I strutted past those teens with my head held high in a way that would put a runway model to shame and I did it all in high waters and ratty tennis shoes. Boom!
Shake it off.
People can’t hurt you if you don’t let them. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let people get close to you, just know that words only gain power to affect us if We. Let. Them.
Sure if someone tells you that you look pretty, snap up compliments like that and hold onto them. Ignoring the criticism from people who do not matter SHOULD be easy, and becomes even easier with repeated use. Because you, my friend, DO matter and really, in the end, that is all that matters.
Love,
Jen
