The Differences That Divide Us

In Motherhood, Parenting by Jen19 Comments

A few weeks ago I was chatting with one of my daughters about a women’s activity I was helping to plan. She mentioned she had talked to a woman she knew about the activity who had mentioned she felt she was “too different from all of the other women to attend.” I felt sad after hearing that, and it got me to thinking.

Why is it we feel differences need to divide us?

The differences that divide us. Or can those differences actually unite us?

Maybe it is the way the human brain works? In order to make sense of things we put people into groups for easy sorting in a kind of “me vs. them” mentality.

She is married. I am not.

She has children. I do not.

She is athletic. I am not.

She votes Republican. I do not.

She is white. I am not.

Unfortunately, when we oversimplify people like this there is quite a bit about a person that can be missed.

On first perusal some may only see a white woman when they look at me. But I’m not, and that quick visual sorting will miss the fact I am also Hispanic and only one generation removed from my mother’s immigration from Mexico.

Yet in the world today this first sorting might be enough for quite a few of us to see insurmountable differences for us to ever be able to find any similarities which could unite us.

Because although we may have group sorting similarities; for example, we belong to the same church or we have red hair, or the same skin color- those similarities don’t even remotely mean we are the same.

We are all different. 

In that simple, but profound truth is the ultimate factor which should unite all of us.

So how about next time when self doubt starts to creep in and you begin to worry your differences will isolate you from a particular group, instead how about you take a leap of faith and cross that invisible line that you/we/society created to separate us and see if we can find similarities or even differences that could unite us?

You aren’t really all that different. You are you. And you are worthy of love, but so am I, and so is she.

So may I kindly suggest, to instead go forth and love, and see what a difference that can make.

The differences that divide us. Or can those differences actually unite us?



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The Effect Of The Dwindling Village On Women.


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    1. Author

      I have been there too. Feeling that same way a lot lately, but remember the media lives on creating division. This is how they make money and stay current and important. We the people, don’t have to let them lead us down that road and can chose a different path. Just a few of my thoughts on that whole bit :)
      Jen recently posted…The Happy Now Blog Link- Up #122My Profile

  1. This is so beautiful. It reminds me of when Scarlet was (unfortunately) learning about racism. She had a lot of good one-liners but one thing we discussed is that we’re NOT color-blind. And we shouldn’t say we don’t see race and color. We should say that we see it and that we celebrate it.
    I know that was one small part of what you’re saying, but what divides us should unite us.

    1. Author

      Hear, hear friend! I remember one of my young children who was about 3 at the time once saw a very beautiful black woman and looked at me and said, “Mom she has the most beautiful chocolate colored skin ever! Can I look like her some day?”

      Gotta love kids :)
      Jen recently posted…The Happy Now Blog Link- Up #122My Profile

  2. Love this! It’s true that we separate people so easily into groups but that doesn’t mean you can’t connect with people “different” than you, and it also doesn’t mean people “similar” to you will be your best friend. You just have to give people a chance. For example, I have a lot of great friends that are really different than me – in many ways – but we still have enough in common to get along and be friends in the first place!

    ShootingStarsMag recently posted…Graphic Novel Review: All Summer LongMy Profile

  3. I have been trying that more and more lately. It’s not easy to put yourself out there but I figure the worse that happens is I spend an uncomfortable afternoon or evening with a group of people that I don’t connect with and then I know to try a different group next time.

  4. I loved this part, Jen: You aren’t really all that different. You are you. And you are worthy of love, but so am I, and so is she.

    This was a timely and lovely read!


  5. Do you know what is really silly? I’m 36 years old and I still feel intimidated by women who are older than me. I assume I don’t have anything to offer them since they have 10 years of experience on me. Thanks for the reminder that that isn’t necessarily true.

  6. Hi Jen, it makes me sad to think that differences can divide us if we let them. For all our differences we are all people, who love, laugh, hurt and cry and we all bleed the same blood. We should be all for embracing our differences, after all, that’s what makes the world an interesting place. Being different makes for a different conversation, it broadens peoples minds and it encourages tolerance. The world needs to be a place where we are all comfortable being who we are.

    Debbie recently posted…The Keeping It Real Link Up #25My Profile

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