I celebrated my thirty ninth birthday on Sunday. Probably not alone on this specific oddity, but once I hit the 35 year marker I arrived at the point where if you ask me how old I am I usually have to think about it. Maybe that will get better after 40? Or not.
Anyways, so now that I am the proud owner of unrepentant gray hairs that poke straight up overnight out of the top of my head, all of that means I am supposed to be wiser. Right? And yet somehow inside I still feel like a sixteen year old girl, but also different. If that makes any sense. I guess the proper explanation for how I feel would be that I am now at the stage in my life where I am pleasantly surprised and happy with the adult I have turned into. I no longer look like that sixteen year old girl I was, but meh.
Now all of the “wisdom” for these past 39 years I talked about earlier didn’t arrive all at once. Because sure enough along the way there have been moments where I have wondered if I knew anything at all. I am talking about those “AHA” moments where you wonder how that particular piece of information had somehow escaped your knowledge base for so long. I am pretty sure everyone has moments like that, so here is a list of 39 things I learned a long the way. Maybe you already know all of the things on my list or maybe I can help you too pick up a few new facts before your next birthday.
1. Get professionally fitted for a bra. Seriously, the first time I did this in order to prep for a job at Victoria’s Secret I was amazed at how off I had been on my size. Remember also, that doing it once is not enough. Make sure to re-measure yourself every so often, because if our bodies change over time, so do our breasts.
2. Smile when you feel sad. Try it right now, if you make the biggest smile you can, you will automatically feel happier.
3. If you have hair that tends to turn shades of red when it is dyed, do not attempt to dye it yourself. BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN.
4. Attending playgroups requires both planning and skill, here is all I know about not only surviving them, but totally nailing them.
5. Don’t over tweeze your eyebrows. At some point, the hair will stop growing back.
6. Homemade jam is so simple to make and tastes so much better than store bought.
7. Hairspray and hand sanitizer work magic on ink stains. Just wait 10 minutes, and wash normally.
8. WD-40 will remove crayon off of walls.
9. I am much happier perhaps being considered a mean parent. I have my reasons and you can see them here.
10. Watch peoples’ feet when you approach them. If they don’t turn their feet towards you and only rotate their torso, you might want to move onto a different conversation with someone else.
11. Even minor head wounds bleed a lot. It can really freak you out. Especially when it is your kid bleeding.
12. Everyone should learn how to make a printable. They are so easy and make great gifts. I wish I had learned this skill years ago.
13. If you can afford it, the once yearly Amazon Prime fee is worth it. Included with Prime membership are free movies on your ROKU device and free next day shipping. Amazon Prime is the procrastinators dream. Hoorah!
14. On that note, I think it is best to expect that procrastination is going to happen. Plan for it, prepare for it and make it your friend.
15. I wish I had never, ever watched Watership Down.
16. Meal plan based on what is on sale at your grocery store. I never know what we are going to eat that week until I show up or look at a store circular and see what is on sale. Doing this will save you LOADS of money.
17. I learned a lot from musicals, for example; gangs are bad and I should probably avoid letting my daughter(s) date Nazis. You can check out all of the other great life lessons to be learned from musicals here.
18. If you want something, ask for it straight out. Don’t try to hint. I Totally wish I had done this one in my early twenties
19. I wasted far too many years not knowing how to cut an onion without tearing up. Don’t you do it too.
20. When you have a new baby in the house ALWAYS have baby gas drops on hand. This was a life changer when we found these miracle drops with our first daughter.
21. I wish I had learned far earlier how to let go of the bad baggage I carried around and feed only the good.
22. Use a plastic knife to cleanly cut brownies. It works. Try it.
23. I wish I had known how easy it is to change my air filter and hadn’t wasted both years (plural here) and lots of dinero by having someone do it for me.
24. Before you throw a post it note away, run it between the keys of your keyboard to collect lint and crumbs.
25. And everyone needs to know these dirty little Pinterest secrets.
26. Freeze your bananas when they start to turn brown and then make this banana bread on a day you have time. Life is better lived with banana bread.
27. If you want to blog professionally, get to know these 5 tools. They will make your blogging life exponentially better.
28. To get rid of the residue on your shower head, tie a Ziploc baggie filled with vinegar on it over night and wake up to a clean shower head!
29. Everyone should learn the power of saying no and ditching the whole idea of being perfect.
30. Make a cardboard slide for your stairs at some point in your life, oh, and make sure to have a good explanation ready for the doctor just in case.
31. Also, careening down a hill on a block of ice is always a great way to go for the win with your kids.
32. Motherhood is so much harder than you think, but it is worth it. I recommend it highly to all of my friends….
33. If your productivity is feeling a little sluggish, watch a cute video with puppies. It will increase that productivity STAT.
34. Get rid of clothes that don’t fit you instead of holding onto them just in case. The pay off isn’t worth it and treating yourself to new clothes that fit you and make you feel great is always the way to go.
35. Do not, I repeat do not ever try to use the Listerine foot soak that is so popular on Pinterest in order to help get rid of dry skin on your feet.
36. Instead, make a sugar scrub.
37. Try Pole dancing, at least once. It is freaking awesome!
38. Although this came after my 39th birthday, we are going to go ahead and lump it in, but today I learned only after a thirty inch (I dare you to measure that one out) king snake slithered it’s way into my yard that those are the kind of snakes you want to have in your yard. I am a little skeptical, but we will see..
39. Lastly, life is hard, wonderful and a roller coaster of a ride. Don’t waste your time mired down in unhappiness. If you need some help finding your happy I have a few ideas that might help.
Thanks for popping in and as always, Stay Happy! Stay Informed!
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