Do you feel like sometimes this is a battle? Here are a few suggestions for helping yourself to stop caring what people think about you.

How To Stop Caring What People Think About You

In Motherhood, Parenting by Jen37 Comments

Recently I wrote a post about 5 things you can do right now to be more happy. It seemed to really resonate with quite a few readers. One of the points I included in the post that would help each of us to be more happy was to stop caring what other people think about us. Quite a few of you shared that doing that is quite a challenge. I hear you. I have a big heart and really care about people and sometimes that has morphed into the ugly beast of worrying too much about what others think about me.

I am sure that I am not the only person who has ever experienced that same beast. It really is ugly and I am not a fan when it rears it’s head. So here are a few ways that I help myself to kick that self conscious beast to the curb!

Do you feel like sometimes this is a battle? Here are a few suggestions for helping yourself to stop caring what people think about you.

Take Stock

I am a big believer in only encouraging and allowing those people and things into my life that bring me happiness. If you suck me dry without giving back and aren’t one of my under age children then you are gone. Seriously, toxic friends are given that name for a reason. Get rid of them. It may hurt for a bit, but in the long run you will be so much happier you moved on from them.

Also, make sure to periodically evaluate if the things you are doing are beneficial to yourself and your family. If you are doing something to impress others, get rid of that too. Seriously, who cares!

Accept Yourself For Who You Are

If you can see yourself as perfectly imperfect and  still see yourself as someone worthy of love and respect that is huge!

I am a hot mess. For reals. Some days I have my crap together. Some days I don’t. I have BIG curly hair and forget most of the time to wear make-up. That is who I am, but I know that I am a good person, worthy of both love and respect and so if you can’t give that to me then I am going to spend my valuable time and energy elsewhere.

Another good way to remind you of both your worth and value might be to write a list down about your best qualities or ask someone you love to write one for you. Then whip that list out when you need it. It will help remind you on those less than stellar days of the good that is a part of you and the good that you do.

Oh and remember this. It is important.

Happy Girls Are The Prettiest!

Be Authentic

I am who I am pretty much 24 hours a day. It takes way too much effort to pretend to be something I’m not. This doesn’t mean you have to try hard to always “keep it real.” Promoting yourself, even your true “you” unnaturally has it’s own set of problems.

I think you will find that others will respond positively to you when they know that you are honest about who you are and they learn who you are by your interactions with others. Remember doing so speaks volumes more than telling.

Learn How To Shake It Off

One night 14 years ago after I had just given birth to my first child I realized that we were short on a critical grocery item. My husband was willing to go to the grocery store, but I really wanted the few minutes solitude a quick trip to the store would afford me, so I literally grabbed my purse and ran for the door. Not caring one bit how I looked.

While in the store, a few teens looked over at me and snickered at what I was wearing. I looked down and realized my pants were kind of high watered and those were matched by an over large shirt to ease my engorged breasts and with the finishing touch of ratty tennis shoes I did kind of look like a fashion victim. I felt embarrassed for about a minute and then I thought I just freaking gave birth to a tiny and perfect human being! I was exhausted and leaking breast milk everywhere, but I knew I had accomplished something AMAZING! So I strutted past those teens with my head held high in a way that would put a runway model to shame and I did it all in high waters and ratty tennis shoes. Boom!

Shake it off.

People can’t hurt you if you don’t let them. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let people get close to you, just know that words only gain power to affect us if We. Let. Them. 

Sure if someone tells you that you look pretty, snap up compliments like that and hold onto them. Ignoring the criticism from people who do not matter SHOULD be easy, and becomes even easier with repeated use. Because you, my friend, DO matter and really, in the end, that is all that matters.



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  1. More sage and great advice and can’t thank you enough for that. I have thankfully learned over the years that the old saying truly applies in times like this, “That you can’t please all the people all the time” nor do I want to. Just happy being me and that is it. Happy Friday now, Jen!! :)
    Janine Huldie recently posted…How to Best Care for A New Pet Betta FishMy Profile

  2. Another great post! You speak to my heart, and I thank you for that. I can only imagine how you looked in the grocery store! We could have had a good laugh together because most likely I would have looked the same.

    Last year, when my husband was in the hospital, I hit a car in my driveway, and then 8 hours later my daughter looked at me and said, “Mom, your shirt is backwards.” Oh well, LIFE!

    1. Author

      Oh my gosh! I didn’t know about the car incident, but with all of that going on I am just proud you had a shirt on!

      I really wish we could pass each other someday on a late night run to the grocery store. It sure would make it more interesting! Maybe someday I will make it out your direction and then we can hit the store in style!
      Jen recently posted…How To Stop Caring What People Think About YouMy Profile

  3. It is none of your business what I think of you. It’s none of my business what you think of me. That’s my philosophy. I gave up caring a long time ago. It makes me smile.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺
    Comedy Plus recently posted…Feline FridayMy Profile

  4. So now I’m singing shake it off… Shake it off.

    Pinned and tweeted this one. As my daughter grows up, I need reminders like this to reinforce what my parents taught me. Telling my daughter this while hearing and soaking in the message myself, is a wonderful way to start my day.

    My sincere thanks for sharing this.
    SARAH recently posted…SEO Checklist for Blog PostsMy Profile

    1. Author

      Thank you! I love T Swift and that song really is fabulous! I dance about as well as she does in the video, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it in public. Who cares who sees me right?!

      I am so glad you enjoyed this post. You are an amazing person and I know that you are raising an equally amazing daughter who is going to give this world a run for it’s money in a very good way :)

      Jen recently posted…How To Stop Caring What People Think About YouMy Profile

  5. Amazing piece. I just finished a book on this topic/relevant to it by Louise Hay called “You Can Heal Your Life.” In many ways, it was common sense, but so many of us don’t follow common sense standards. I’m all IN. Enough mean inner-chatting…I’m focused on being a warrior woman and mega mom. xoxo
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    1. Author

      Oh I like that warrior woman! I think we need shirts made up with that slogan. Then I could wear it with my high waters and look even more freaking awesome!

      I am so glad you enjoyed this post and I am glad you are all IN. I need fellow warrior women in my pack like you. It makes this world we live in a lot more fun and interesting. Hugs!
      Jen recently posted…How To Stop Caring What People Think About YouMy Profile

  6. I love this! When I first started blogging it was hard for me to shake things off. Sometimes I’d get negative comments and they really stuck with me. But now I’ve learned to brush them off. I get that not everyone is going to like me or what I write, and that’s okay.
    Amber recently posted…Spring Break Fun: Medieval Times in DallasMy Profile

    1. Author

      I had the same problem in the beginning. Isn’t it crazy that we allow people we do not even know make us feel bad about ourselves? Crazy, right? I like what you write as do many others and most importantly since you are happy with what you are doing, I see no need to change! Keep up the good work!
      Jen recently posted…How To Stop Caring What People Think About YouMy Profile

  7. This is awesome. I’m so terrible at shaking things off. If I get an insult or criticism, I take it to heart for ages. Sometimes forever.
    Taking stock is key. And I’ve been learning how to blow things out of proportion. It used to be that if someone called me a name, I would somehow think everyone thought that about me. Not just the one person.
    Tamara recently posted…And I Saw Sparks.My Profile

    1. Author

      Yep, we might be soul sisters on that one. I finally just had to literally shake it off, because who cares what some random schmoe says. Seriously, you are cool. I am cool. Not perfect, but we are very good and so hey that is winning in my book! So how about I call you a name right now that I think pretty much everyone thinks about you when they meet and get to know you? Tamara is “awesome-sauce”! Let’s see about making up a shirt :)
      Jen recently posted…How To Stop Caring What People Think About YouMy Profile

    1. Author

      Thank you! My oldest daughter shared a story with me recently. She said someone told her something mean and she literally started singing Shake it off in her head and rather than being upset she had to stop herself from dancing. I guess that is one way to deal with haters :)
      Jen recently posted…How To Stop Caring What People Think About YouMy Profile

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  9. Hi Jen, I do wonder why it’s so easy to remember the negative and not so much the positive. I do practice letting go of negative things, thoughts and people, but it never seems as easy as forgetting the good stuff.

    However I have found it easier to not want to be a people pleaser as I’ve got older, it’s not that I don’t care it’s just that life is too short to worry about what other people think. You are right, no one needs toxic people in their life.

    I have this vision of you dashing to the shops for a little breather and looking like all new Mums do; sometimes we need something like that to put things into perspective and one day, I have no doubt that those teenagers will find themselves in a similar position.

    Debbie recently posted…The TreesMy Profile

    1. It is a little trickier to not care about this when we are younger isn’t it? We are working so hard to get through school and early careers that in large part are determined by our likeability.

      I hope that vision of my fashion victimhood gave you a good laugh! If only I had had a good pair of yoga pants back then! Oh how the world has changed all for the better for me :)

      Thanks for stopping in my sweet friend!
      Jen recently posted…Put A Little Breakfast In Your Banana BreadMy Profile

  10. Such great tips. I don’t really feel like I was able to fully tackle not caring until I hit my 30’s now I feel more able to let it roll, besides I don’t have time to care #kiddingnotkidding
    Beth recently posted…Ten on Ten, April 2016My Profile

  11. Wow! What a fantastic post! I’ve always been sensitive to what people say about me. But it matters less and less these days. Love that post-partum story. Who really cares what a bunch of kids think? They have no idea what lies ahead for them in life.
    Leslie recently posted…8 Tips for Your Own Kids Cooking CampMy Profile

    1. Author

      I have thought about that from time to time. Chances are high that 14 years later at least one of those teens is a parent now, right? Karma really does have a way of providing payback.

      Thank you Leslie. I am glad it matters less and less what people think about you, because you REALLY are an amazing person!
      Jen recently posted…The Happy Now Blog Link- Up # 3My Profile

  12. I remember the leaky boobs all too well, since it was, well, only a few months ago, ha ha. I still can’t get myself well-coifed and put-together before I go out the door because of, well, baby. Thanks for the reminder to accept ourselves and to seriously reduce the stress of caring what other people think.

    1. Haha! You are not alone. It’s been 14 years since that first child and I still can’t pull myself together in the mornings!

      Thanks so much for stopping in and hug that new baby of your for me. I miss that stage!
      Jen recently posted…The Happy Now Blog Link- Up # 3My Profile

  13. So I have been “binging” on your site contents, and I absolutely love this post. The truth is, I usually have a hard time getting over what people think about me. This has almost put me into a state of personality disorder, because sometimes I really want to be what everybody wants me to be to them.

    And this might be very difficult, considering the fact that, people want you to be different things to them. But I have recently figure out that, all these doesn’t matter.

    The most important thing is to be who I am, and those that love the person that I am would eventually stay, while those that doesn’t would move on.

    “Greates Love Of All” by Whitney Houston came to my mind as I write the comment. Thanks for sharing this.
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    1. Author

      Haha! Glad you found my site binge worthy :)

      You are right we absolutely can’t be everything to everyone all of the time. It’s best to be what we are and be proud of it.

      I love that song! Crank that puppy up to full notch in your mind when you need a little re-enforcement to support your decisions.
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