What Your Child’s Teacher Wants You To Know

In Parenting by Jen28 Comments

My children have been back in school for about 2 weeks now. They were kind of done after that first day and began asking when the next vacation was, but luckily with the help of great teachers we are coming into the groove of things.

This last week my husband and I attended a back-to-school night where we were given a tour of our children’s classrooms and had the opportunity to hear the curriculum plans for the year. As we were sitting there and listening to each of our children’s teachers, hearing their enthusiasm and seeing all of the work and preparation they had put in before school started, we started wondering if there were some things these teachers really would like us as a parent to know, but couldn’t share in such a setting.

So I hit Facebook and asked if there were any teachers who could share with me some of the things they would like parents to know. Messages came pouring in all day via text, private messaging and some replies on Facebook to my question. I was touched by their thoughtful and honest answers, but most importantly by the love that all of these teachers shared for their various students.

So here are some things your child’s teacher wants you to know:

“It can be hard for a teacher to give individual attention to each child, even though they really want to.”

“It is so very important to read at home everyday!”

“Every child is different–even siblings. Even twins. Parents need to stop putting so much pressure on their kids. I’ve had kids sob over B’s because they knew their parents would be mad.”

“It’s hard when you have varying abilities in your class. You want to challenge the high kids and give extra help to the kids who are struggling. It’s hard to find a balance.”

“I want parents to trust me and to know that I am really good at what I do and to trust that I will do good by their kids.”

“Sometimes there are those parents who suffer and make everyone else suffer, with “not my child” syndrome. Even if you try to tell the parent with the syndrome with compassion about a negative behavior or choice, some have blinders on and literally will not accept what their child has done. This is sad because as a parent you cannot help your child if you refuse to believe they are misbehaving! You also are not able to help the teacher work with you as a team. I would encourage all parents to say after hearing a teacher deliver some bad news to talk to their child at home in a safe non-condemning way, ask questions like: Tell me what happened with Johnny today? Or how do you feel you handled talking to Mrs. Jones today, do you feel comfortable with the words you chose to use?… No parent is perfect, no teacher is perfect, and absolutely no child is perfect either. As a parent you should be your children’s champion, but you can’t be if you get into the “not my child” syndrome and refuse to accept the truth about their misbehavior. The opportunity to help, and be united with the teacher in helping this precious child is missed.”

“If your child is struggling, a new school is probably not going to make a difference, especially not an advanced, accelerated one.”

“Please keep communication open with us so that we can know any personal struggles going on with your child. It makes a difference!”

“Please feed your children breakfast and send a morning snack–it really does help them.”

“Kids should have some extra-curricular activities but I feel it’s getting extreme. They are exhausted!”

“Teaching is like conducting a full orchestra. You have to be aware of so many things all at once. And you have to adjust the section that’s out of tune, and slow down the one that’s racing through the music, and help the one that’s lagging. You have to keep the audience happy and the boss. And you have to let every musician feel special, smart and loved. It’s quite exhausting but when kids have those ah-ha moments it’s totally worth it!”

Happy Back-to-school season!

Stay Happy! Stay Informed!



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  1. What a fantastic post idea Jen! So awesome that you thought to ask and that you received so much great feedback. The reading one is a favorite of mine. Parents can’t expect the teachers to do it all alone.

  2. As a teacher myself, I really appreciated this post! I love the honesty from the responses, as well as your thoughtfulness in considering the educators involved with you kids. It’s so so lovely to see parental support (we often don’t get many of those in our line of work). I love the quote about open communication. I was always a firm believer that my students’ success is due largely in part to teamwork–their parents working with me to insure their well-being, whether it’d be academically, socially, emotionally, etc… It truly makes a difference when a child sees that people are willing and ready to make sure that he/she succeeds. Thank you for such a lovely post, Jen!
    Maria recently posted…When Imperfect Parenting is EnoughMy Profile

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      Thank you Maria! I am so glad you liked this! It makes me sad that teachers don’t get the support they need. I wish I could help every teacher, it is such a hard job, but I am so grateful for what they do. Hugs to you as you start a new school year yourself :)
      Jen recently posted…What Your Child’s Teacher Wants You To KnowMy Profile

  3. Such thoughtful answers too!
    I remember my 6th grade teacher telling us that he feared our parents more than he feared us or the principal. He said parents were scary. That made me laugh.
    Sometimes parents really do have blinders when it comes to their kids.
    An open mind and an open dialogue does wonders. Teaching and parenting are too of the hardest and most underpaid jobs in the world! Even though only one of them is recognized as a job..
    Tamara recently posted…A Day, Like Any Other Day.My Profile

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      I know parents can be so scary! Have you ever heard an interaction between another parent and the teacher and just cringed? Poor teachers! Right you are, I totally agree that a smart parent makes sure to have a good relationship with their child’s teacher because, doing so only benefits the child.
      Jen recently posted…What Your Child’s Teacher Wants You To KnowMy Profile

  4. I would love for my kids’ teachers to be open and honest with us like this. Thanks for getting this info for us. After all, parents & teachers should be a team, right?
    Leslie recently posted…Officially a KidMy Profile

  5. Oh my goodness, I loved this! As a former early childhood professional, I could identify with many of these.

    The biggest one was how people expected one-on-one care for their children. Class of 16… 2 teachers… it’s just not possible. I even had days when I went home thinking I barely interacted with this child or that child because I was so swamped dealing with behaviours of other children. Tough stuff indeed. Am I ever glad I’m not doing that work anymore. It was fulfilling but also soul crushing all at once!

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom recently posted…Our Complete Grade 3 Curriculum ChoicesMy Profile

    1. Author

      You are so very right! And it seems like class sizes just keep getting bigger and bigger these days… Tough stuff indeed!

      Thank for your kind comments and I hope you are having a wonderful summer!
      Jen recently posted…Happiness HappensMy Profile

  6. Hi Jen, what a great idea for a post! Teachers certainly have their work cutout and the only way that they can do their jobs properly is if the parents cooperate to the best of their ability and visa versa, teachers must also listen to the concerns of parents. There should also be a medication/therapy created for the ‘not-my-child’ parents, as more often than not it is their child!

    School here doesn’t start for a few more weeks… Can’t wait!…

    Debbie recently posted…Meet Ugg…My Profile

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