Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents

In Mommy Reality by Jen40 Comments

One of the things that no one warns you about when having kids, is that now you will be initiated into the world of stuffed animals….

What, wait a minute, stuffed animals? They are so cute, why is this a problem?

Here’s a few reasons why stuffed animals are one of the most under examined of parenting foes:

1. No child can sleep in a bed with less than a dozen stuffed animals. This becomes burdensome when trying to locate a sleeping child within the bed.

Plus some of your child’s stuffed animals are down right terrifying at night!  Especially clowns.  Always clowns!

2. Should said sleeping child wet or throw up in their bed, now you get to not only clean the child and their sheets, you also have to wash any of the stuffed animals affected by the whole episode.  Stuffed animals enjoy being washed about as much as your real dog.  Well, MOST dogs anyway. . .

3. It has been scientifically proven that stuffed animals multiply overnight without you the parent even knowing. So do not be surprised when somehow that one single stuffed bear your baby brought home from the hospital will within just a few short months, have doubled into 3 more stuffed bears, a purple unicorn and a dog that barks when you tug it’s ear.

4. Every stuffed animal, even that wonky cat thing your child got in their Happy Meal, is a treasured friend and must under no circumstances EVER be thrown out.

5. If you should in the dark of night, dressed in full black spy paraphernalia, embark on a stuffed animal clean out while your child sleeps, just know this, no matter how many you march to Goodwill, there are more in line just waiting to get in like your child’s room is an exclusive nightclub…

How stuffed animals destroy parents #mommyreality @FrogandGloss @brklynhousewife

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Comments

  1. Reply

    I had the same treasured Baby Mickey from my first Easter through, um, college…and yeah, it would have been a Big Problem had he gone missing. My poor sister lost her favorite stuffed animal when we were kids during a road trip. Mr. Bear was likely abandoned at some Holiday Inn on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, poor guy. I remember practically being in tears with my sister, because I felt her pain of losing such a prized possession.
    Jessica @ Absurd, She Wrote recently posted…My Four Favorite Children’s Books – Then and NowMy Profile

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      I probably would have cried alongside your sister too! I had a blanket that was a much beloved and treasured friend. It was so holey and threadbare by the time I was 10 we had to have Grandma make me a new one. It was lovely, but I still missed that first blankey.

      Now all the other stuffed animals in my kids rooms they never even look at, sheesh it is time to clean em’ on out I say!
      Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy ParentsMy Profile

  6. Reply

    That dog in the bath looks like mine!!
    Ok so Scarlet is not a puker. Maybe three times in her life? Of course one time wound up with an entire new mattress from IKEA, and the stuffed animals. The poor stuffed animals caught in the carnage! Luckily we washed them and I have erased which ones were washed from my memory banks so they must still look like they used to look.
    Tamara recently posted…I’m a Dog.My Profile

  7. Reply

    This is very true! My eldest is the worst offender in our family for millions of stuffies – but our youngest is now travelling with three for the past few days and also sleeps with a GIANT bear. What is it with people who think huge toys are funny? Don’t get that at all.

    My eldest’s favourite – a pink bunny – has been washed so many times you’d never know it was pink anymore.

    That said, this made me smile.
    Louise recently posted…Killing Independent Louise for #1000SpeakMy Profile

  8. Reply

    Of all my children only two of them are stuffed animal lovers. Well, I mean, at this current time. My oldest used to carry at least 1 beanie baby around with him everywhere he went. Sigh! How I miss the 4 year old version of my first!! I’ll see if the boys will cooperate with this challenge…perhaps if I bribe them. ;)
    April recently posted…Celebrate!!! Polish Pottery Giveaway!My Profile

  9. Reply

    Hi Jen, if only all dogs sat so well in the bath!

    Even with older children we have a shelf full of soft toys (mainly ones of sentimental value). But oh, I remember those bed wetting/ vomiting incidents when half of the soft toy collect got covered and in the middle of winter too! If I were to go back in time, I’d beg for a law to be bought in that states that each household can only have four teds per child.

    I do notice that your little girls soft toys are very white…How?

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…A Much Needed Phone Upgrade!My Profile

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      Oh I forgot, you have to hang all of your laundry to dry!! Eeek, those animals would get tossed if that was my Mommy reality. I do believe sainthood should be dubbed on you for washing them!

      Yes the white, see why stuffed animals are destroying parents….
      Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy ParentsMy Profile

  10. Reply

    Jen,

    I still have George, the Bear Monkey that has traveled all of Europe and the Middle East with me and most of the USA. My two girls were raised in the era of Beanie Babies….. HOLY MONKEY NUTS do you know how many dollars are sitting in my basement from good natured people???? Ugh!!!!

    Cuddles will be going with F to California, and Hugs still sits on the Bebe’s bed. :) They have had these bears since they were babies, and they are the only ones I have not tossed..
    xoxoxo
    BritishMumUSA recently posted…He She Him Her They Them LGBTQMy Profile

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      Holy monkey nuts, now that is a good one! I think my son is going to have his own version of your George. His is named “Bears” and that guy isn’t going anywhere. Luckily, we avoided the whole Beanie Baby craze or I think my storage room would look like your basement!
      Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy ParentsMy Profile

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      See, stuffed animals really do destroy parents! Oh, and grandparents don’t get me started. It is like my parents disappeared the second their first grandchild was born and became the “fun” people, that ply on the sweets, ignore bedtimes and bring home more stuffed animals :)
      Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy ParentsMy Profile

  14. Reply

    Yes, I don’t know how it happens but stuffed animals multiply over night. I don’t get why they love them so much…but they do. I just started taking a bunch of them out of my son’s closet and throwing them in the basement in a garbage bag. If two months go by, then I give them away.
    Caryn recently posted…Health & Wellness News & Info Recap, 5/25My Profile

  15. Reply

    Oh my goodness. YES!!! All of this is so, so true. I just hope and wish and pray for the day they realize how stupid the things are and want to get rid of them. It should happen eventually…. right?

      1. Reply

        My child has a clown stuffed animal, and it’s super creepy! I tried getting rid of it, but my little girl just don’t wanna give it up. I feel like it watches me sleep. ???

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