One of the things that no one warns you about when having kids, is that now you will be initiated into the world of stuffed animals….
What, wait a minute, stuffed animals? They are so cute, why is this a problem?
Here’s a few reasons why stuffed animals are one of the most under examined of parenting foes:
1. No child can sleep in a bed with less than a dozen stuffed animals. This becomes burdensome when trying to locate a sleeping child within the bed.
Plus some of your child’s stuffed animals are down right terrifying at night! Especially clowns. Always clowns!
2. Should said sleeping child wet or throw up in their bed, now you get to not only clean the child and their sheets, you also have to wash any of the stuffed animals affected by the whole episode. Stuffed animals enjoy being washed about as much as your real dog. Well, MOST dogs anyway. . .
3. It has been scientifically proven that stuffed animals multiply overnight without you the parent even knowing. So do not be surprised when somehow that one single stuffed bear your baby brought home from the hospital will within just a few short months, have doubled into 3 more stuffed bears, a purple unicorn and a dog that barks when you tug it’s ear.
4. Every stuffed animal, even that wonky cat thing your child got in their Happy Meal, is a treasured friend and must under no circumstances EVER be thrown out.
5. If you should in the dark of night, dressed in full black spy paraphernalia, embark on a stuffed animal clean out while your child sleeps, just know this, no matter how many you march to Goodwill, there are more in line just waiting to get in like your child’s room is an exclusive nightclub…
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Comments
I had the same treasured Baby Mickey from my first Easter through, um, college…and yeah, it would have been a Big Problem had he gone missing. My poor sister lost her favorite stuffed animal when we were kids during a road trip. Mr. Bear was likely abandoned at some Holiday Inn on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, poor guy. I remember practically being in tears with my sister, because I felt her pain of losing such a prized possession.
Jessica @ Absurd, She Wrote recently posted…My Four Favorite Children’s Books – Then and Now
I probably would have cried alongside your sister too! I had a blanket that was a much beloved and treasured friend. It was so holey and threadbare by the time I was 10 we had to have Grandma make me a new one. It was lovely, but I still missed that first blankey.
Now all the other stuffed animals in my kids rooms they never even look at, sheesh it is time to clean em’ on out I say!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
Okay, that video did me in. Clowns are no longer happy things. Yikes.
Have a fabulous day and weekend. ☺
Comedy Plus recently posted…Feline Friday
I think clowns have always been scary! That is why that Poltergeist movie was so scary, we already knew those guys were something to fear!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
haha I love this! I had quite a few stuffed animals as a kid, but I only really slept with one or two. It’s crazy these days!
-Lauren
ShootingStarsMag recently posted…The Wicked + The Divine Graphic Novel Review
I agree! I probably had about 10. Two of which were my most highly prized Cabbage Patch dolls, which the parents waited in line a whole day for!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
I don’t have any pics of anyone being buried by stuffed animals, but your pictures is the absolute cutest! :)
Sarah Nenni Daher recently posted…TGIT Link Party No 72
Thank you! She is a pretty cute kiddo! I love her little chin scrape barely showing in the picture , because it is so her. She had a bad run in with a sidewalk on the last day of school.
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
That clown scene is one of the worst from that movie! Love your take on the prompt. How on earth do they multiply so quickly?!?!?!
Leslie recently posted…Planning a Summer with the Kids
I really do think it is overnight when you are sleeping that more just make their way into your child’s room. There is no other explanation, because I wouldn’t willingly bring that many home……
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
That dog in the bath looks like mine!!
Ok so Scarlet is not a puker. Maybe three times in her life? Of course one time wound up with an entire new mattress from IKEA, and the stuffed animals. The poor stuffed animals caught in the carnage! Luckily we washed them and I have erased which ones were washed from my memory banks so they must still look like they used to look.
Tamara recently posted…I’m a Dog.
A whole new mattress! Oh that must have been a bad one! I think those stuffed animals should count themselves lucky they survived.
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
This is very true! My eldest is the worst offender in our family for millions of stuffies – but our youngest is now travelling with three for the past few days and also sleeps with a GIANT bear. What is it with people who think huge toys are funny? Don’t get that at all.
My eldest’s favourite – a pink bunny – has been washed so many times you’d never know it was pink anymore.
That said, this made me smile.
Louise recently posted…Killing Independent Louise for #1000Speak
Thanks Louise! That must be one loved bunny!
A giant bear? No!! How does your youngest transport it around? We have a HUGE bunny and that thing weighs more than the toddler. It is a little funny seeing her try to carry that thing around!!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
Of all my children only two of them are stuffed animal lovers. Well, I mean, at this current time. My oldest used to carry at least 1 beanie baby around with him everywhere he went. Sigh! How I miss the 4 year old version of my first!! I’ll see if the boys will cooperate with this challenge…perhaps if I bribe them. ;)
April recently posted…Celebrate!!! Polish Pottery Giveaway!
Haha! Now should there actually be any stuffed animals on the 10 year old boy’s bed (which he would deny there were any) he would never let me take a picture of them. Good luck snapping that photo! P.S. Just one Beanie Baby, that would be so nice!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
Hi Jen, if only all dogs sat so well in the bath!
Even with older children we have a shelf full of soft toys (mainly ones of sentimental value). But oh, I remember those bed wetting/ vomiting incidents when half of the soft toy collect got covered and in the middle of winter too! If I were to go back in time, I’d beg for a law to be bought in that states that each household can only have four teds per child.
I do notice that your little girls soft toys are very white…How?
xx
Debbie recently posted…A Much Needed Phone Upgrade!
Oh I forgot, you have to hang all of your laundry to dry!! Eeek, those animals would get tossed if that was my Mommy reality. I do believe sainthood should be dubbed on you for washing them!
Yes the white, see why stuffed animals are destroying parents….
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
Jen,
I still have George, the Bear Monkey that has traveled all of Europe and the Middle East with me and most of the USA. My two girls were raised in the era of Beanie Babies….. HOLY MONKEY NUTS do you know how many dollars are sitting in my basement from good natured people???? Ugh!!!!
Cuddles will be going with F to California, and Hugs still sits on the Bebe’s bed. :) They have had these bears since they were babies, and they are the only ones I have not tossed..
xoxoxo
BritishMumUSA recently posted…He She Him Her They Them LGBTQ
Holy monkey nuts, now that is a good one! I think my son is going to have his own version of your George. His is named “Bears” and that guy isn’t going anywhere. Luckily, we avoided the whole Beanie Baby craze or I think my storage room would look like your basement!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
It is just amazing how those thing reproduce and there are so many more the next day!!!! Hehehe…
xoxoxo
BritishMumUSA recently posted…Five Photo’s, Five Stories Challenge #3 ~ First Day on the Job
Haha, so true! As I child, I slept with a whole bed full of stuffed animals. I haven no idea how my parents were able to cope with that menagerie :)
Akaleistar recently posted…Links à la Mode: The IFB Weekly Roundup
They loved you, so they dealt. We all do, but there is a certain amount of glee involved in the day we can finally bag up and donate all of those stuffed animals!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
This is so true. I just secretly donated an entire trash bag of stuffed animals but I swear we somehow have even more than before!
Camille recently posted…Weekend No Rules Blog Hop #55
I am so jealous! My kids have radar sense on those things and any covert acts of stuffed animal donations get thwarted right away!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
I actually hate stuffed animals. I vowed my child would not have a room swarming in them. But, of course, I underestimated the stuffed animal buying prowess of grandparents and a husband who can’t say no to his little girl.. haha.. ;-) – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com
Gingi recently posted…Updates on Legalizing Miniature Goats in Visalia, California
See, stuffed animals really do destroy parents! Oh, and grandparents don’t get me started. It is like my parents disappeared the second their first grandchild was born and became the “fun” people, that ply on the sweets, ignore bedtimes and bring home more stuffed animals :)
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
Yes, I don’t know how it happens but stuffed animals multiply over night. I don’t get why they love them so much…but they do. I just started taking a bunch of them out of my son’s closet and throwing them in the basement in a garbage bag. If two months go by, then I give them away.
Caryn recently posted…Health & Wellness News & Info Recap, 5/25
That is a wise plan. I need to do that too. It would definitely be a litmus test for which ones truly end of being missed.
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality: How Stuffed Animals Destroy Parents
Oh my goodness. YES!!! All of this is so, so true. I just hope and wish and pray for the day they realize how stupid the things are and want to get rid of them. It should happen eventually…. right?
I don’t know there are still stuffed animals on the bed of my teen…..
Jen recently posted…Potty Training: It’s You And Me Against The Pee
There is complete science to stuffed animal madness, I agree! And your daughter looks so adorable buried in them :)
Celeste @ Leapfrog and Lipgloss recently posted…May 2015 Birchbox Review: PLUS $1 BIRCHBOX OFFER
It is some pretty wonky science, but science it is! At least to our kids….
Jen recently posted…Potty Training: It’s You And Me Against The Pee
I tried to get into bed with my mid kid the other night for some extra snuggles. It took twenty minutes just to make enough room for me to lie down…sideways!
Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted…Open Boxes {Book Review}
This is sooo my life with my daughter. The “its so fluffy” aspect is killing me. I just want to trash all the shit…
Laura Funk recently posted…Bravo’s #OddMomOut Hysterical Review
I know! I literally have to sneak stuff out and once I didn’t make it to the Goodwill with the bag and the 7 year old found it and I had to bring it all back in!!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality #37: Real Life, Reel Time
Yes! We keep trying to get rid of them and more just magically appear! We have NEVER bought a stuffed animal for our children (okay, maybe a few times, but rarely) and yet we are removing them from our house in garbage bags in the dead of night at least once a year!
Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…7 Quick Takes about Packing Anxiety, Bringing My Crazy to New York, and Sanitizing the Revolutionary War
See, this is more proof that there really is a conspiracy involving stuffed animals to destroy parents!
Jen recently posted…Mommy Reality #37: Real Life, Reel Time
My child has a clown stuffed animal, and it’s super creepy! I tried getting rid of it, but my little girl just don’t wanna give it up. I feel like it watches me sleep. ???
Oh my goodness! Time to go somehow! Maybe on a trip somewhere :)
Jen recently posted…The Christmas Freebie Fest You Don’t Want To Miss!
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I love this idea! I always make portabello “burgers” but I love the idea of slicing them lengthwise and making them hot dogs. Adorable, fun and so delicious. Thanks for the great idea! how much does it cost to buy a maltipoo
Thank you so much for your professional responsiveness and creativity to find ways to protect both our babies and your staff. Now to convince my kitty girls that they too can rock a face mask… Kidding! Take care, everybody.Dogs