If Adults Acted Like Toddlers We Would Go To Jail

In Motherhood, Parenting by Jen62 Comments

My fourth child and youngest daughter Anneliese just celebrated her 2nd birthday in March.

Having reached this milestone a few times before with previous children, I am equal parts self congratulatory mixed in with a healthy dose of desperation. First off, I am pleased in the fact that I survived the initial sleep deprived baby years and have now progressed onto a new era…….the toddler years.

Last week as I pulled my precious toddler away for the third time in one hour from lapping water out of the dog’s bowl, I had an epiphany.

If adults acted like toddlers we would either be looking at some serious jail time or time away at a nice center that would help to calm our nerves.

As I explain some of these behaviors, please put an adult face to the experience/behavior and see if you don’t agree.

1. Grabbing something out of someone’s hand and running away.

2. Walking up to people and licking them.

3. Trying to reach into the toilet to play with the water.

4. Pooping in the middle of the floor on the rug.

5. Thinking it is perfectly acceptable to shed your clothes no matter your location or present company.

6.. Attempting to eat gum off of the sidewalk.

7. Wiping boogers onto people’s clothes.

8. Throwing shoes at people as they walk by.

9. Hitting people with toys.

10. Dribbling food onto our chin and clothes, then wearing it like a badge of honor.

11. Running everywhere we go at full speed.

12. Winking at everyone that you meet.

13. Screaming at the top of your lungs in the middle of church.

14. Going full “Excorcist” at the grocery store.  Never go full “Exorcist.”

15. Eating play-doh, glue, markers and crayons.

This is not even an all encompassing rundown.  In our family the above list is referred to as “Tuesday.”  I do feel fairly certain that should an adult behave in this manner we would be hauled off before we could cross off the entire list.

What we need to remember is that there was a time we were in the same boat, and we turned out OK.  Well most of us, anyway. This too shall pass and there will be that glorious time when they will no longer be toddlers.

Then they become teenagers. . .

Stay Happy! Stay Informed!



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  1. But she’s just so cute, even grown they would never arrest this one! ;) I think it’s adorable that she still has no hair. Yes, our JD does all these things you speak of too. So does my 4 year old. I took a picture of my nightstand, and I kept forgetting to share it! Am I too late?
    April recently posted…This Scripture changed my week for the better.My Profile

    1. Author

      Not to late at all, share that dresser pic! She is pretty cute, but has a pretty spot on ability to pull her very own version of the “Exorcist” Last week her meltdown at the store was epic and as I hauled her out kicking, screaming and thrashing I thought someone was going to arrest me!!
      Jen recently posted…If Adults Acted Like Toddlers We Would Go To JailMy Profile

  2. Yes, yes, yes and yes to all of the above, as when both of my girls were toddlers we dealt with all of the above including the toilet playing with their hands. But as one of the other commenters said they are pretty darn cute though if nothing else ;)
    Janine Huldie recently posted…What’s in a Name?My Profile

  3. Lol it is so true. My only hope is that someday I will eventually be able to act like I am to old to know better any more and once again be able to throw my shoes at people. Bahaha. Seriously though. It’s the only time in life you can get away with almost anything and you don’t even realize it.
    Beth recently posted…Spring Bucket List: Update #1My Profile

    1. Author

      I know it seems to come full circle in our lives! Plus the whole napping thing is wasted on the young, that is why we pick that particularly wonderful behavior back up with a vengeance once we are older. We finally realize what we missed out on when young and now have the time to partake in a nap or two!
      Jen recently posted…If Adults Acted Like Toddlers We Would Go To JailMy Profile

  4. Bwahahahahahahahahaha. Now these are going to be stuck in my head all day and I’m going to be laughing out loud at times and people will think I’ve gone over the edge. It was/is a short trip.

    Have a fabulous day. :)
    Comedy Plus recently posted…Awww MondaysMy Profile

  5. haha! She drinks from the dog bowl? I remember when we got the cats, Des scooped DIRTY cat litter out with his hands, spilled it through the house, and put it in Athena’s dog bowl. She was probably like, “Thanks but no thanks.”
    I’m a big fan of 11 and 12. Sometimes I still do both.

    1. Author

      Eeewww!! That is super gross! Toddlers :) Poor you for having to clean it up and poor dog. She seems like a very smart dog though and wouldn’t eat it. Some dogs might not be so smart…. Many here in the comment stream also think that #11 is really the funnest way to go about running. I think I’m going to do it that way from now on too!
      Jen recently posted…If Adults Acted Like Toddlers We Would Go To JailMy Profile

  6. This is hilarious, Jen!! They are so incredibly cute at that age though. I can understand why they get away with so much. Put on your seatbelt for the teen years, my friend. They are way worse! And no cuteness is involved ;). I loved Phoebe’s run! That was one of the greatest Friends’ scenes. I had to laugh loud at this: “In our family the above list is referred to as ‘Tuesday.'” Happy Tuesday ;)!
    Candace recently posted…The State of RestlessnessMy Profile

  7. Yes the licking! What is it with the licking, and biting, and putting everything in their mouths? I don’t get it!!! And the boogers, and the wiping their dirty hands on their CLEAN clothes. UGH!!!
    Kristen recently posted…Top 5 Easy Chores For KidsMy Profile

  8. hahahahahaha Yes, yes, yes! We’re currently going through the “strip down to show off panties” phase which is ever-so-awesome at the post office, let me tell ya.

    And, “Never go full “Exorcist.”” < — that happens at least once a day around here.

    Parenting is definitely not for the fainthearted.
    Sarah Nenni Daher recently posted…Spa Day With KidsMy Profile

    1. Author

      Hopefully you can take care of that before the authorities are called. Nah, just kidding! I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face if my kids did that and then a lunatic laughing mom and a stripping kid would definitely ensure that the authorities would be called!
      Jen recently posted…LEGO Elves, Fairies and A Little DIY MagicMy Profile

  9. Hi Jen, Tuesday seems pretty normal in your house!…Oh and I didn’t realize it wasn’t acceptable to wink or or lick people I meet, it’s just something I never grew out of…I never bite though.

    Love that Friends episode with Phoebe running like a child on a sugar high. Can you imagine the smiles on peoples faces if we all did it. Would probably make for a better world.

    Debbie recently posted…Mommy Reality #34: If I Had One More Hour…My Profile

  10. We would sure have a lot more fun as adults if we could do some or all of this. Yes we would.

    Your toddler is adorable. Yes indeed.

    Have a fabulous day and a great Silly Sunday. :)
    Comedy Plus recently posted…Silly SundayMy Profile

  11. I love your sense of humor! I laughed all the way through…much like on your other post. I think I know a few adults that should read this, as they are still kids (behaviorally speaking that is). Pretty sure I know a few that “scream at the top of their lungs in church” but they call it singing. ;) I think I am guilty of #10 when I eat BBQ. LOL! Such a pleasure to read your blog each day. Great for a smile!

    1. Thanks Heather! I sat behind someone at church who did just what you spoke of this last Sunday! Got to hand it to them, they were excited to be there! I just hope that most adults avoid the whole pooping in the middle of the room bit. Ain’t nobody got time for that!!!
      Jen recently posted…That Day Jen NAILED The PoleMy Profile

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