If Adults Acted Like Toddlers We Would Go To Jail

In Motherhood, Parenting by Jen

My fourth child and youngest daughter Anneliese just celebrated her 2nd birthday in March.

Having reached this milestone a few times before with previous children, I am equal parts self congratulatory mixed in with a healthy dose of desperation. First off, I am pleased in the fact that I survived the initial sleep deprived baby years and have now progressed onto a new era…….the toddler years.

Last week as I pulled my precious toddler away for the third time in one hour from lapping water out of the dog’s bowl, I had an epiphany.

If adults acted like toddlers we would either be looking at some serious jail time or time away at a nice center that would help to calm our nerves.

As I explain some of these behaviors, please put an adult face to the experience/behavior and see if you don’t agree.

1. Grabbing something out of someone’s hand and running away.

2. Walking up to people and licking them.

3. Trying to reach into the toilet to play with the water.

4. Pooping in the middle of the floor on the rug.

5. Thinking it is perfectly acceptable to shed your clothes no matter your location or present company.

6.. Attempting to eat gum off of the sidewalk.

7. Wiping boogers onto people’s clothes.

8. Throwing shoes at people as they walk by.

9. Hitting people with toys.

10. Dribbling food onto our chin and clothes, then wearing it like a badge of honor.

11. Running everywhere we go at full speed.

12. Winking at everyone that you meet.

13. Screaming at the top of your lungs in the middle of church.

14. Going full “Excorcist” at the grocery store.  Never go full “Exorcist.”

15. Eating play-doh, glue, markers and crayons.

This is not even an all encompassing rundown.  In our family the above list is referred to as “Tuesday.”  I do feel fairly certain that should an adult behave in this manner we would be hauled off before we could cross off the entire list.

What we need to remember is that there was a time we were in the same boat, and we turned out OK.  Well most of us, anyway. This too shall pass and there will be that glorious time when they will no longer be toddlers.

Then they become teenagers. . .

Stay Happy! Stay Informed!



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