Man Day Post: The 5 Most Humorous Country Music Songs EVER!

In Man-day by Jensguy32 Comments

Welcome to another installment of Man-day from Jensguy!

I grew up rural.

Want to know how rural? When one of my best friends growing up got married,  One of my other friends and I noticed that there were cows on the road on the way to the reception, cows that belonged to the family of the guy who just got married.  So the other guy and I pulled over, fashioned ourselves some switches, and herded two dozen head of cattle back into the field.  After we finished, we pulled some tools out of my trunk and repaired the barbed wire fence, all in our Sunday best.  We did it all with enough practiced precision that we were not too noticeably late to the reception.  Those are skills that I haven’t used in years. . .

So, yeah, I like Country Music. Give me a choice between Donny and Marie, I’m taking Marie every time. I’ve actually met Donny and Marie on separate occasions. Still going with Marie.

I’m a little bit country. . .

The great thing about Country Music, is that it is profoundly American. Not in a jingoistic sort of way, but its roots speak to the soul of where America came from and the songs that aren’t afraid to speak to the common man.

And yet, Country Music can also do a great job at NOT taking itself seriously. To this end I am going to document the five most hilariously entertaining songs released by Country artists.

Boy Named Sue

Johnny Cash

I love me some Johnny Cash. I could listen to him sing the alphabet song over and over, and while he lived, he was the epitome of music history. He toured with Elvis and recorded with Bob Dylan all the way up to U2.  His voice personified both strength and pain, much like his life. That is what is so awesome about the song “Boy Named Sue.” In it, Cash tells the story about his search for his no-account father that left his family soon after he was born, leaving his son the name of “Sue” as a parting shot.

Memorable lines:

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother’d had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: “My name is ‘Sue!’ How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!”

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a’ gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

You Never Even Called Me by My Name

David Allen Coe

This song is both a song on it’s own merits and a whimsical exploration into the songwriter’s process in writing it as “The Greatest Country Song Ever.” After each verse of the song, Coe talks about sending the song back to songwriter Steve Goodman about the formulaic changes (which Coe is mocking) that would be needed to make the song the best Country Song EVER. The results are hilarious.

Memorable lines:

Well a friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song
And he told me it was the perfect country and western song
I wrote him back a letter and I told him it was not the
Perfect country and western song because he hadn’t said
Anything at all about momma or trains or trucks or prison or gettin’ drunk

. . .

Well I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison
And I went to pick her up in the rain
But before I could get to the station in the pick-up truck
She got runned over by a damned old train

I Love You, Honey

Patsy Cline

One of the moments when I KNEW that I was in love with Jennifer was when I saw that she had a Patsy Cline CD in her collection. That is some seriously hard core stuff right there, and told me something about her artistic soul. For everything that Johnny Cash was to Male Country vocals, Patsy Cline was to female vocals. She could move you to tears straight up wearing out a song like “Crazy.” In this song she is upbeat and hilarious, especially considering that this song was released in 1956.

Memorable Lines:

“I love you honey, I love your money,
I love your automobile.
I love you baby, I don’t mean maybe,
You’re the sweetest thing on wheels.

I love your kisses, I wouldn’t miss it,
No matter how I feel,
I love you honey, I love your money,
Most of all I love your automobile

All My Exes Live In Texas

George Strait

If I had to choose someone else to be beside myself, it would be George Strait. He has all of the cool characteristics of all of the greatest country crooners without any of the alcohol abuse, bad behavior, or tragedy. Seriously there can’t be anyone on the face of the Earth who has anything bad to say about George Strait, and he is probably the only man that looks more dapper in Jeans and a hat than James Bond does in a Tux.

Memorable lines:

All my ex’s live in Texas,
And Texas is a place I’d dearly love to be.
But all my ex’s live in Texas
And that’s why I hang my hat in Tennessee.

Rosanna’s down in Texarcana; wanted me to push her broom,
And sweet Ilene’s in Abilene; she forgot I hung the moon,
And Allison in Galveston somehow lost her sanity,
And Dimples who now lives in Temple’s got the law lookin’ for me

She Got The Gold Mine (I Got The Shaft)

Jerry Reed

Jerry is now one of the most unappreciated geniuses of 70’s Country Music.  He is probably better known as the guy who drove the diesel truck in Smokey and the Bandit than as a singer. Mainly because he specialized in the not so timeless genre of CB music. Go ahead and try to explain what a CB radio is to your children. He actually put out several funny songs, but this one is probably my favorite. As far as musical history goes, those cowboys in the seventies were doing a form of “rap” far before it became popular as an urban form of music (also see: Cash, Johnny: Boy Named Sue.)

Memorable lines:

Well, I guess it was back in ’63,
When eatin’ my cookin’ got the better of me,
So I asked this little girl I was goin’ with to be my wife.
Well, she said she would, so I said, ‘I do’.
But I’da said, ‘I wouldn’t’ if I’da just knew how sayin’ ‘I do’
Was gonna screw up all o’ my life.

Well, the first few years weren’t all that bad.
I’ll never forget the good times we had,
‘Cause I’m reminded every month when I send her the child support.
Well, it wasn’t too long till the lust all died.
And I’ll admit I wasn’t too surprised,
The day I came home and found my suitcase sittin’ out on the porch.
Well, I tried to get in, she changed the lock.
Then I found this note taped on the mailbox that said,
“Goodbye, turkey. My attorney will be in touch.”
So I decided right then and there I was gonna do what’s right
Give ‘er her fair share but, brother,
I didn’t know her share was gonna be that much.


    1. You don’t have to be rural to appreciate country music, but it certainly does help! And you can’t go wrong with George Strait as being your favorite country singer.

  1. Oh man, when I saw Boy Named Sue I started laughing because my husband is more or less rock kinda guy… until you get to know him a little better and then find him listening to country on full blast and singing his lungs out! I think Boy Named Sue was one the first country songs I heard him listen to.
    Ana Lynn recently posted…Fun And Easy Ways To Keep A Healthy HeartMy Profile

    1. It is now a family favorite. Additionally, Johnny Cash transcends all boundaries, and is five times the hard guy many of the gangster rappers think they are.

    1. It isn’t very often that a non-country music fan knows who David Allen COe is. He was like the punk rock of country back in the day, and never really hit the big time because he always fought so much with his record labels for trying to push him in a conformist direction. He had an outsized influence on many country artists today, however.

    1. I tried to go with some of the classic artists. I could probably make an entirely new list with contemporary artists. That is what is cool about Country Music, it generally echoes the past.

  2. Ok Jen’s Guy, we gotta talk here… What about some Horton; or Sovine? Did we forget about Twitty or Senior? Ya just can’t do Cash without Senior;

    *and off in the background the Ana’s guy gets Gibbs hardcore, and Ana points out it’s humorous songs, not good ole country songs*
    Frank recently posted…Fun And Easy Ways To Keep A Healthy HeartMy Profile

    1. Not much humor in Senior’s music. I spent the whole day I had to be in bed rest listening to Waylon Jennings which is where I came up with the idea for this post. You can’t just spring classic country on people without easing them in like I did here. Seriously though, the only women who don’t like Patsy Cline are women who have never listened to Patsy Cline.

  3. Yep, some great choices here. All of them.

    For some reason you don’t show up in my reader anymore. According to my reader you haven’t posted since last May.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺
    Comedy Plus recently posted…Awww MondaysMy Profile

    1. We wondered what happened to you. The problem may have been that we switched over to wordpress from Blogger back last May. We are glad to have you back!

    1. Admittedly, classic country is an acquired taste, but it is well worth the effort. Like I mentioned before, you might want to pull up Patsy Cline “Crazy” on youtube and click on the related songs from there. Also I don’t think the Badonkadonk girl has a “big” but, per se. . .

      1. I think it says,

        We hate for her to go
        But we like to watch her leave. . .

        Or something like that. . .

    1. For you, I prescribe Patsy Cline, Willie Nelson, and Waylon Jennings. Then you can move on to Buck Owens. . .

  4. Seriously though, if you didn’t, you should at the very least LISTEN to “A Boy Named Sue.” It is one of the great American Classics.

  5. Talk about bringing back memories. Since my mom loved country music that’s all that was played in the house until I became a teenager. A Boy Named Sue, All My Exes live in Texas, She Got the Gold Mine. I can hear all those songs. Thanks! LOL.
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    1. Oh there are ALL kinds of songs and artists that I could have included but I didn’t. I really wanted to fit Buck Owens on the list as he is one of my favorites. I’ll try to do something with him at another time. . .

    1. Oh, I have all kinds of “rural” stories. Stuff like my friends and I actually set up CB radios in our rooms with car batteries and talked to each other. That was obviously before texting and instant messaging. And like I mentioned, if you can’t like Johnny Cash, there really isn’t any hope for you. . .

    1. Yep, the Grand Ole Opry is on my Bucket List. My sister was just in Nashville this weekend and I told her she would have to go for me.

    1. I went to a small concert with Marie Osmond (there were about 300 of us) and her boy, who was 8 at the time I believe came out and sang that song during the show. Did I mention that I love Marie Osmond?

  6. I seem to get stuck in one genre at a time. I was obsessed with Donny and Marie when I was a kid. Then it was rock and roll through my teen years and a move out to LA in my early twenties. When I moved to Kentucky about 20 years ago, I went through a serious country phase. I have since left it, but Patsy Cline will always be a favorite :).
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    1. See that’s the great thing about technology, you can switch back and forth at any thime as you can store almost every song you have ever heard on one device. I’m now trying to introduce my kids to old school country and I had forgotten how cool some of the “story” songs were like “The Gambler” and “El Paso.”

  7. I grew up on country music, so I love a lot of the “older” songs. “All my exes live in texas” and “you got the gold mine, I got the shaft” are two great ones! I love a humorous country song.

    Nice post! :)


    p.s. Jen- you asked the age range of Daughter of Smoke and Bone and the trilogy at large. It does talk about “grown up issues” but it’s not terribly graphic. I’d say 15 and up.
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