Sometimes Being A Mother Stinks

In Motherhood, Parenting by Jen22 Comments

Yes, yes you did just read that right.

Wait, isn’t this the week that we celebrate all things wonderful about motherhood and are supposed to walk away with warm and cuddly feelings?

Those who are truthful about motherhood will know what I mean about having times when it really stinks. If you aren’t there yet, just wait, it’s coming.

Like the time last week when all 4 of my children had the stomach flu and threw up  repeatedly during the same 24 hour period. That really was not on my list of favorite motherhood memories.

Or the pure physical exhaustion of all we have to do every day like cleaning, cooking, car pooling, laundry, work, and when you are finally through with all of that, you get to start it all over again.

If we are truly honest with ourselves, there are times when motherhood is hard, even harder than we ever thought it could be. Those times when we feel unequal to the task and inadequate to teach our children all of the lessons we so desperately want them to learn about the world and themselves. Sometimes we feel powerless to do something that we see other mothers do so easily. Or punish ourselves when we feel as if we have failed at some self-appointed parenting milestone.

The important lesson that all mothers NEED to learn is that in order to be the perfect parent for our children we don’t have to be perfect.

Let me repeat that, We don’t have to be perfect.

Not every day will be memorable, awe-inspiring, or even ones that we want to repeat. Some days will be long and some nights will be even longer.  At times like this we need to find the good, focus on that good and hold on to it tightly and keep moving forward.

Always keep moving forward.

Other days will be magical with moments that will take our breath away. I heard a story once about a very busy mother that was engaged in the necessities of raising her family. The wind was blowing and the children had made kites. The mother was busy doing laundry and the children came and asked her to fly kites with them. The mother looked at her huge pile of laundry and her even bigger to do list and walked away from it, stepped outdoors and flew kites with her children, Many years later the children would still talk about that day with fondness, with no recollection of perhaps not having their favorite shirt  ready the next day.

I have mentioned before one of my parenting idols, besides my own mother is Marjorie Pay Hinckley.

Our power as mothers  is our love. Our love is made of the stuff that can move mountains, change hearts, mend souls and heal those who are broken through both our words and touch.

To the world you may just be one person, but when you are a mother never ever underestimate the power of your love and influence for good within the walls of your own home. It is immeasurable.

So to all of the mothers out there every day who are trying their best to love wholeheartedly, I salute you and say Happy Mother’s Day.

Stay Happy! Stay Informed!

Love,

Jen

Comments

  1. Yes, yes, yes! There's a great article in Reader's Digest this month that touches on the subject, too. While i wouldn't trade it for anything, there are those days when it's just plain hard.

  2. i've had those days… motherhood would be so much easier if it wasn't such an emotionally draining job… there's very little that's more damaging to your ego than getting peed on and laughed at simultaneously by an 18-month-old. :-)

  3. Love this, so refreshing. I think the hardest part of motherhood is what you mentioned about having to everything all over again. Day in and day its the same tasks over and over again, until it makes it seem like what you're doing is almost meaningless. There are times when I feel so blah and bored with my life and then I feel guilty for feeilng that way. That's when I have to sit quietly for a minute and contemplate the bigger picture behind the endless laundry I'm always folding or the load after load of dirty dishes. We can't see the end, the big picture, all of the time. But as long as we have it somewhere in the back of our minds, it gives us strength to keep going. Happy Mother's day to you! So glad to have "met" you :)

  4. Thanks Mimi I would like to read that article. Luckily, my mom gets the RD so I will go snag her copy today.

  5. Oh man so been there Roaen!

    Last night heading out to Intro to Junior High night with my daughter when she told me I really should change my shirt. Looked down and yes indeed baby boogers covered pretty much the bottom half and shoulders and it hadn't even fazed me.

  6. So true Leilani, that big picture helps keep me in perspective as well. Happy Mother's Day back to you. I think your kids have a pretty great Mom!

  7. I so remember. Let me tell you that the grand-kids rock. That's payback for all the hard times raising your kids. You'll see and you'll remember everyone that ever said this too. It's time to spoil and then hand them back to mom and dad and go do whatever you want. It's more than awesome.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  8. "Behind every great kid…" is the best and one that's making it to my fridge as a constant reminder for me to breathe. Thanks for sharing this, Jen.

  9. I think I had one of those days yesterday.
    And the stomach flu in May! Not fair. It should stay within winter's confines.

  10. I like the one image about behind every child is a mother who is pretty sure she is messing it up. lol That is me!

  11. It really was morally wrong. After cleaning up red velvet cake off of the cream colored carpet I thought the cosmos had it in for me.

  12. It's true! Work will always be there tomorrow- but the opportunity to make memories with your children is brief and must be taken. These little moments are what make life big, and through all the sickness, work, and LAUNDRY (ughhhh), it's the best job in the world. Our power really is in our love. I love being a mom! :]

  13. Such a lovely and honest post. I will keep that story about the kites in mind — or at least try to — every day. Maybe it's not laundry, maybe it's blogging while Kiernan's happily playing by herself — when me playing with her would make it so much more fun. Happy mama's day to you, sweet Jen!

  14. I would add to the quote “Behind every great kid is a mom who's pretty sure she is messing it up"
    …. and knows when to say she is sorry.
    I've learned that an apology sometimes teaches my children as much as if I had done things right the first way!

  15. It was the honest title of your post that enticed me to click and read it. I love the story about the Mum who abandoned her chores to fly kites with her children. That to me is a fine example of a good Mum. The dust/ washing/ dishes will always be there tomorrow, but one day our children will be all grown up and there is no going back to their younger days.

    I stopped long ago trying to be the 'perfect' Mum as it's a bit like chasing rainbows. I am much happier being a less tan perfect Mum!

  16. Isn't liberating when you finally throw perfection out the window and just enjoy the chaos and wonder of it all? It was for me! I think we are very kindred spirits.

Leave a Comment