Here are five New Years resolutions I won't make as a parent this year.

Five New Years Resolutions I Won’t Make As A Parent

In Motherhood, Parenting by Jen47 Comments

Since my arrival into the world of parenting almost 16 years ago, a large portion of my New Years resolutions have been lumped into the category of “trying to become a better parent.” I am sure if I left my list to democratic family determination, the list would be longer. The thing is, those people, my family, are kind of crazy. No one should be taking life advice from them. Especially my three year old, where every day begins with the resolution to keep her from killing herself. I hope that someday that fear instinct will kick in for her. . .

So this year, I’m keeping it simple and created a list of five resolutions that I will NOT be making as a parent.

Here are five New Years resolutions I won't make as a parent this year.

I will NOT be resolving to attempt to learn and adopt my children’s slang.

This last week I was introduced by one of my teen daughter’s friends to the concept of something being “Gucci.” If you are like me and need a little slang definition; something being Gucci means that particular “something” is fancy, fab and cool. After hearing said definition, I promptly resolved to never use it in my communication. EVER. Because nothing says “pathetic” like a mom trying to keep up with modern vernacular. Plus, there is nothing wrong with my current “fab” vocabulary.

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I will NOT be resolving to imagining bedtime is ever going to be anything different than what it currently is. Horrible.

Every night after the tears, tantrums and wailing of trying to put my children to bed is over, almost miraculously I have the ability to minimize what just happened. Likely it is an evolutionary trait that allows humans to have more than one child. Unfortunately this magical coping ability leads to the illusion that the horrors of bedtime are actually fixable with a little more effort and planning. Like there is some golden solution sitting on the pages of a parenting book. . .

So right here, right now I am putting it in writing: Whatever you try it WILL NOT WORK. Remember that even the sweetest of kids turn into unrelenting jerks at bedtime. The sad truth is that toddlers, kids, and teenagers will never value bedtime. For that matter, neither do single or newly married adults. The first day you really learn to appreciate a good night’s sleep is a week into the reign of terror imposed by your first newborn. By that time, it is far, far too late.

I will NOT be making a resolution to buy my kids everything they want.

“Huh?” you say, “I don’t do that!” but when was the last time you gifted your kid socks for their birthday? That was almost an expected gift for most of us during our growing up years, right? And we were grateful to get them!

So listen up kids, if you come to me and start a conversation with the likes of, “everybody has one!” I want you to know that you will walk away from that transaction sorely disappointed.

I guess my kids could bottle up that rage and disappointment over the neglect of not having this years iPhone and become a poet, or hardscrabble rapper. . .

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I will NOT be resolving to “fill all our moments with magic.”

I don’t know who came up with the whole idea that parents need to be the “magic makers” for their kids, or even that we need to keep them busy and occupied all day long. When I was young if I told my parents that I was bored, my dad would open up the front door and tell me, “There is a whole world right outside this door waiting for you to explore.” That was how creating magical moments for your kids was done back in the 80’s. Kick them out of the house with the expectation of only seeing them around dinner time.

How parents rolled in the 80's. Where the thought of helicoptering was not even considered.

Even though I grew up way outside the realm of helicoptering, sending my kids out that same way is tough for me, so along with not feeling obliged to be a magic maker, I probably won’t be practicing extreme free ranging all that much.We have a big yard and a nice cul de sac, so…..

Anyways, this year I will not be resolving to turn myself inside out to keep my kids occupied and happy. I can however resolve to be more present and pleasant. Putting away my phone, stepping away from the computer and also having the NERF guns primed and ready when I feel the kids need a bit of humbling. Sometimes I might allow them their own weapons, but only sometimes.

I will NOT be resolving to spend less time in my yoga pants.

Nope, sorry Charlie. This is so not going to happen. Unless you want to bring back the mumu?

The fashion trend of the future and past is alreday here!Here we come 2017!

Love,

Jen




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Comments

  1. You are a good mom. You’re a mom not a buddy. That’s so important. Your kids will grow up and be a parent just like you and you’ll be proud.

    I used to carry Gucci and I can tell you it’s way better than cool and good. That was a very long time ago. I didn’t know it was slang now. I’m pretty old though.

    Have a fabulous day, Jen. ♥♥♥
    Comedy Plus recently posted…Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  2. I love this! When I was growing up, I was almost always outside, exploring the neighborhood and riding bikes. I hate that more and more it seems that kids are attached to the media form of entertainment. It’s good to have balance, and it’s definitely not up to the parent(s) to make sure every moment is full of “magic”.

    -Lauren
    ShootingStarsMag recently posted…12 Days of Christmas Swap Reveal!My Profile

  3. I see your yoga pants, and raise you my LulaRoe leggings!
    The one thing that isn’t horrible is bedtime. I don’t know why and I’m sure we’re somehow still in for it but Des likes going to bed, and Scarlet can be bribed or cuddled there. Don’t worry – we have many foibles still! Like buying them everything they want after saying we won’t.
    Tamara recently posted…Scarlet Takes Manhattan, IIIMy Profile

  4. Oh Jen you always make me laugh. Thanks to bringing me down to reality when it comes to bed time :P.

  5. You take great photos!! What kind of camera do you use? I’m in love.
    LOL’ing @ saying Gucci. I’m totally guilty for saying this actually, & kinda want to punch myself in the face for it sometimes. You know, all the slang that is English today.
    I agree with you, being a present parent is the best present you can give to your child. I’ll join NERF fights with my kiddo any day!
    Great post! Thanks for sharing!
    #HappyNowLinkUp
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    1. Author

      Haha! I just think if I said it, my kids would stop dumbfounded and be rendered completely speechless. Hmm, maybe I ought to try it out….

      Oh, and I am trying to up my picture game for sure, but here is my little picture secret; Unsplash.com :)
      Jen recently posted…The Happy Now Blog Link- Up #41My Profile

  6. Love your list! I had read an article some time last year about it’s okay if your kids get “bored”. You don’t need to create the magic all the time as you say. That made me breathe and realize I’m not a horrible mother that my mind had seemed to think I was if I didn’t. We are allll way better for it =)

    I just got back from Hawaii seeing my family for the holidays and I joked with my sister I might need a Muumuu for the plane ride back. Hahahaha. Sigh.

    #happynowlinkup
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    1. Author

      I know right?! Sheesh, as a kid my parents would laugh when I said I was bored!

      I saw the pictures! I am so glad you had a lovely time. Yes, I would have worn a muumuu. I think that one for sure is going to be added into my 2017 fashion line-up :)
      Jen recently posted…Kickstart 2017 With These PrintablesMy Profile

  7. Yoga pants FOREVER!

    These are great non-resolutions! LOL. I know I’ve been through most of them with my kids and think “Gucci” is so not Gucci. We’ll leave the lingo to them & spare ourselves the embarrassment.

    My grandma used to have the most extensive Mumu collection. I’ll bet she still has tons of them, so if someone makes it fashionably acceptable, I’ve got us covered on vintage pieces!

    Happy New Year, gorgeous!
    WebMDiva recently posted…New Year, New Me-Stop Trying To Make It HappenMy Profile

  8. We don’t call bedtime “Whack-a-Mole” for nothing! And I didn’t realize just how quickly the world goes on and creates new slang without you when you’re no longer a teenager. My kids come home from school and tell me about dabbing and dank memes and stuff, and all I can think is “Now I know how my mom felt!”
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…On Writing Things DownMy Profile

    1. Author

      Yes on the dang manners! I always called an adult Mr., Mrs., but never by their first name. That would have brought on a serious whooping and now I am sometimes introduced as Jennifer to some of my kid’s friends. I’m like what? You are 3. Call me Mrs. Jennifer okay kid?
      Jen recently posted…Kickstart 2017 With These PrintablesMy Profile

  9. Jen, could you please pick up the phone and call my husband? He has a ridiculous notion that our 4 year old twins need to start going to bed on time every night. What a TERRIFIC idea! I have never thought of that one!

    My daughter knows she’s”got me” when she announces 10 minutes before bed that she has to poop. Surely this sensation doesn’t just magically happen every night RIGHT at bedtime, but what am I going to say? No, just poop in your pants? Diabolical….
    #happynowlinkup
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    1. Author

      I’ll do you one better and just send a video of what our bedtime looks like. Including the 1 million requests for water, that they are scared and think there is something in their room that is going to get them and that there is a lump in their mattress that is hurting their back…. I could add more to that list, BTW.

      Ah, she is very smart. You are going to need to watch that one :)
      Jen recently posted…Kickstart 2017 With These PrintablesMy Profile

  10. Hi Jen, being a Mum to four you know what you are talking about. There is just too much pressure in making resolutions and where is the sense in adding pressure to our already overpressured lives?… I honestly have always loved receiving socks as a gift as long as they are fun. How fun is looking reasonably smart knowing you are wearing the most ridiculous (but fun) socks?… No one ever gets me any these day’s though, they are just too uncool.

    My parents always told us to find something to do when we were bored and I stand by the notion that a bored child will eventually find something creative (or mischievous) to do, either way, it’s a learning curve for them.

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…A Walk Around Askos And Elies, Zakynthos – Through My LensMy Profile

    1. Author

      I get you! You are fantastic and oh so wise. If we didn’t live an ocean apart I am pretty sure you and I would be walking buddies. Forever :)

      Your parents sound just like mine and it really is learning curve. The three year old tends to be mischievous, but I am hoping we still have time to reform her!

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