How NOT to do Summer.

How NOT To Do Summer

In Man-day, Motherhood, Parenting by Jen32 Comments

Each summer, we bloggers like to create cute little summer bucket list printables that our readers can then take and use to plan their own summer magic. We are all about the public service over here at JENerally Informed and Jen’s Guy and I have previously shared some pretty epic What Not To Buy lists as well as our suggestions for how to Win On Social Media During The Holidays. So today we are going to mix things up a bit and list the things that you should definitely leave off of your summer “to do” list. 

NAIL This Summer. Don't FAIL It!

1. Don’t Do Death Valley This Summer.

There are many National Parks you can visit for summer fun. Our family visited Zion National park just last summer. We would however, suggest avoiding Death Valley, at least during the summer months. Average July temperatures there are a toasty 116 degrees Farenheit with a record high of 134. In case you were wondering, that would be a world record high. Yeah, it’s a dry heat, but so is a pottery kiln. . .

2. Avoid Naked Xeriscaping

Sadly, we failed to recognize World Naked Gardening Day last month. Warning, don’t Google search for the details unless you want to burn holes in your eyes, just take our word for it. To explain Xeriscaping, this is what we do in hot, dry climates with limited rainfall like we have here in Southern Arizona. It is meant to maximize beauty with a minimum of water. It uses a lot of cactus and other prickly desert dwellers. It is fairly safe to assume that exposing your tenderest assets to the duel dangers of  puncture wounds and sunburn is probably not the best use of a warm summer day. Your mileage may vary.

How NOT to do Summer- Naked Xeriscaping!

3. Don’t Do A Keeping Up With The Kardashians Binge Marathon.

Please do anything but this during the summer months. Your mind will thank you.

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4. Don’t Attempt Ferretlegging.

It is a sport. . .kind of. How it works is you a man (women aren’t this stupid) wear a pair of loose fitting breeches, tied at the ankles and drop an angry ferret (sometimes more) inside the waistband and cinch the drawstring. The winner is the chap who lasts the longest without removing the rodents. Additional rules require that both the ferrets and the contestant be sober and not wearing underwear.

Sadly, there is a YouTube video:

5. Lyme Disease- Avoid It.

If you go hiking in the wilds, check for ticks when you get home. Seriously.

Add in from Jen’s Guy: Ladies, if you need help, I’ll bet your partner will happily volunteer. . .

6. Don’t Try Green Bean Popsicles.

Yep, they are actually a thing. We suggest you get your vegetables in another manner.

How NOT to do Summer. Get your veggies another way!

7. Don’t Lose Track Of The Children While on Vacation. 

We hope the reason for this is self explanatory, but just to make sure you understand the consequences, take a look at this picture.

How NOT to do Summer. Don't lose track of the children!

8. Please Avoid Spray Tanning.

At least to this degree.

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9. Don’t Mess With The Wildlife.

Whether you are on the beach, in a forest or vacationing in a swampy marsh land, it is best to remember to leave the wildlife alone. This does not mean that the animals you encounter will respect those same rules, they might, but more than likely they will not.

How NOT to do Summer. Don't mess with the wildlife!

10. Don’t Overfill Your Bucket List.

We promise that both you and everyone else around you will be happier that way. If you need a reminder about why this is important, here you go.

How NOT to do Summer. Don't make this mistake.

Stay Happy! Stay Informed!

Love,

Jen

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Comments

    1. Author

      I will send good vibes your way that your summer may be free of any of these listings, and if something should occur I will send band aids :)
      Jen recently posted…How NOT To Do SummerMy Profile

  1. I can guarantee that I will not be doing most of these things on your list. Good grief. The weasel thing had me laughing out loud.

    You crack me up.

    Have a fabulous day Jen. ☺
    Comedy Plus recently posted…Thankful ThursdayMy Profile

    1. Author

      Haha! I saw this crazy video of a moose interaction recently and I thought of you! Hopefully nothing like that happens, just pretty pictures you can share with all of us :)

      P.S. Jen’s Guy laughed out loud when he saw your comment and said, yep of all the people who would have had a ferret interaction like that it does not surprise me that it was Tamara! Yikes, that’s scary!! We won’t send you any cactus just in case you ever feel compelled …..
      Jen recently posted…How NOT To Do SummerMy Profile

  2. Aw, man, no naked xeriscaping? Bummer! Well, no one needed to see that anyway. And I definitely don’t want to see my neighbors do it. Definitely agree about not having bucket lists and definitely prefer ‘options’. Loved your post linked in #10, btw.
    Leslie recently posted…100 Kid-Approved Summer ActivitiesMy Profile

    1. Author

      I actually had a neighbor who was a nudist and he had a lot of cactus. Our shared yard wall was low enough that I had to check before sending the kiddos out to play! I never asked him if he had any unfortunate incidents with all of that cactus, but…..
      Jen recently posted…How NOT To Do SummerMy Profile

    1. Author

      Glad I am not alone. It’s too much work to plan out everyday of the year and the summer too. I need these few months to gear up for the busyness of the school year.
      Jen recently posted…How NOT To Do SummerMy Profile

    1. Author

      Good idea. My husband has a client that is a Pet Clinic and once he asked the Veterinarian where ferrets originated from and the Vet deadpanned replied with, “From hell.” Well now, I guess that is all we need to know about that particular breed :)
      Jen recently posted…How NOT To Do SummerMy Profile

    1. Author

      Well that is all the doing of Jen’s Guy. The kids upon seeing the picture asked if he was actually considering buying them. Because I am mean, I said yes and that they would be required to eat one a day for the entire summer :)
      Jen recently posted…How NOT To Do SummerMy Profile

  3. Great list Jen, it actually made me laugh out loud. I had no idea Death Valley got soooo hot. I have to admit I googled Naked Xeriscaping and wish I could yank out my eyeballs, you warned me but I just didn’t listen. :) I love that you included, not binge watching the Kardashians, I used to watch that show all the time but decided years ago I had to stop since I felt stupider after every episode, but I have to admit it is addictive. :)

    1. Author

      Bwahaha! I too wish there was a delete button for the eyes!

      Once when I was sick and could not muster enough energy to get up and find the lost remote I watched the Kardashians for 3 hours. I do believe some serious brain cells died that day. Never to return. Glad you agree and have found other TV viewing choices :)
      Jen recently posted…How NOT To Do SummerMy Profile

  4. haha too funny! That whole ferret thing is just too crazy. The things that people come up with and actually DO! I do like having a summer bucket list, but it’s not a big deal if I don’t do everything. It’s just fun to have certain thins to plan or look forward too during these warm months.
    ShootingStarsMag recently posted…#JustYouJune Insta Challenge + Bunbury WeekendMy Profile

    1. Author

      I always wonder about the first guy that tried ferret legging. What was he thinking? Or maybe he wasn’t and others just thought it was too funny and urged him to do it again? I guess we will never know…..
      Jen recently posted…How NOT To Do SummerMy Profile

  5. Hi Jen, many a true word said in jest… I still can’t get my head round Xeriscaping, do people really do that? And as for greenbean lollies… Really? That’s taking healthy eating to whole different (and not very appetizing) level.

    Not being a fan of the Kardashians, I have to totally agree with tip number three, but I’d like to suggest that maybe tip number seven such a bad thing to do (for a short while).

    Love your humour as ever.

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…Our Evening Out In PantokratorasMy Profile

  6. I don’t know what I love more about this post, Jen…your undeniable humor or the gifs and pictures that you incorporate with each point you make. This is hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh today!

    1. Author

      Well then mission accomplished, although I fear some people still might want to try some of these. Didn’t the “Don’t Do It Bro” GIF say it all? :)
      Jen recently posted…7 Sizzling Summer HacksMy Profile

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