How Texting Brought My Teenage Daughter And I Closer.

How Texting Brought My Teenage Daughter And I Closer

In Motherhood, Parenting by Jen24 Comments

There are many horror stories about the damage that can come from poorly timed and inappropriately made cell phone texts. Especially by teenagers. I admit that all of these stories affected me and were a big motivator in the reason for why I waited quite a while to get my own teenage daughter her first cell phone. This past Christmas however my husband and I decided it was time.

I did not expect that her getting a cell phone and being able to text would bring us closer together.

How Texting Brought My Teenage Daughter And I Closer.

It started with a simple text.

“I am angry.”

I texted back and asked her what happened.

She told me.

I told her I loved her and asked what I could do to help.

She said being able to tell me about it was enough and that we would talk later when she got home.

That is one of many such in the moment conversations that we have shared over the past few months. Conversations that unfortunately can get stifled as she is the oldest of 4 children and often has to wait her turn to be able to talk to me without any little brother and sister interruptions.

I really dreaded her getting a cellphone, thinking it would make our relationship suffer and that I would need to spend copious hours monitoring what she did on there. Don’t get me wrong I still check and she is required to have me as a friend on all of her approved social media accounts. It’s just that now I feel like she and I have a much easier way to more freely communicate.

Sure we still break away from the rest of our crew for just her and I time and her night owl tendencies make for some fun late night solo conversations for the two of us. It’s just that now we can also have running conversation streams throughout the day about important things like our shared love and cravings for doughnuts, IN-N-OUT burgers and things she wants to share with me. Helping to foster conversations with my daughter that might not have ever happened if we weren’t able to text them.

Being a mom to a teen is a different. Not bad different, just different. My teen no longer needs me to hold her hand like I do her two younger sisters, but she still needs me and sometimes saying that she needs me, in person, is hard. She is in that emotionally charged “in between” stage where she is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. And being able to reach out to me when she is scared, worried, or needs the reassurance of someone who loves her completely and unequivocally is important.

Sometimes she does that via text.

She may not always do it that way, but whenever and wherever she needs me I will be there. Even if it is just my sending back a simple heart emoji to a text she has sent me.

Stay Happy! Stay Informed!

Love,

Jen




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Comments

  1. Hi Jen, it’s nice to read something positive about mobile phones and teenagers. I bet you are a fantastic Mum to all your children, but understanding that teenagers have different needs and ways of dealing with things is what makes your relationship work with your eldest.

    Knowing that she can reach you for some ‘in the moment’ support any time she needs it gives her the confidence to face whatever maybe bothering her. And sharing the odd doughnut moment with Mum goes a long way to forging a closeness (well it does in this house).

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…Clean Monday At Spiliotissa Monastery, ZakynthosMy Profile

  2. I have to admit that I’m dreading parenting an adolescent. Being a teenager is tough! I still have a good 8-10 years before I tackle these issues, but it’s good to know you’re having a positive experience.
    Lauren recently posted…Having enough timeMy Profile

    1. You know so far it’s not so bad. Sure there are days where doing it is tougher, but it’s funny, since I have a toddler that is being raised in tandem with a teenager it really helps put perspective on the whole age and developmental growth thing. The toddler screams way more, is messier and more grumpy than the teen is!
      Jen recently posted…How Texting Brought My Teenage Daughter And I CloserMy Profile

  3. I love a happy ending and this is a happy ending. You’ve a great relationship with your daughter and that rocks. Often it’s not the case.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺
    Comedy Plus recently posted…Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  4. I think that’s cool.
    My mom has horses and dogs and when she goes away, she has someone come over to care for the animals. My mom will sometimes want to check up on things at the farm and used to call and call, to no avail. Finally someone said to her, “How old is she? Oh, she’s young? Text her. Don’t call her.”
    So my mom did.
    And the animal sitter texted back immediately. It’s funny but it works!
    Tamara recently posted…This is What the Truth Feels Like.My Profile

    1. Author

      HAH! Yep, texting is the new norm. I am happy about it too. In person phone conversations are hard for me. I have too many kids circling me to put cohesive verbal sentences together. Although I did accidentally send a text last week about dropping thongs instead of things off on someone’s doorstep. Really auto correct?!!
      Jen recently posted…How Texting Brought My Teenage Daughter And I CloserMy Profile

  5. What a wonderful and surprising side effect! It just goes to show how well you and your husband are doing with your kids. The thought of my kids getting their own cell phones scares the you-know-what out of me, but thankfully we’ve still got some time before that’s an issue. Thanks for providing a positive side to the conversation.
    Leslie recently posted…It’s Good to Be QuirkyMy Profile

  6. So sweet! My kids are much better at writing down their feelings than I ever expected. My middle son has a little notebook he likes to write in and give to me. Then I can respond to him and give it back. It helps him get unstuck from being the mid-kid.
    Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted…Blogging A to Z in AprilMy Profile

  7. This is really wonderful to hear, I hope that the same happens when our children get to that age. I know that I often (always?) find it easier to write about how I’m feeling than to talk about it. Definitely a happy side effect.
    Sara | mumturnedmom recently posted…Outdoors: Easter Egg HuntMy Profile

    1. Author

      Thank you! It feels though like technology in this arena is changing so fast I wonder what cellphones will look like in just a few short years? There is always a learning curve and especially with technology and children so I guess I will be learning as I go as well!
      Jen recently posted…The Happy Now Blog Link- Up # 1My Profile

  8. Wow, what an interesting and encouraging perspective Jen! I dread the cell phone days but I can see how maybe that texting can bridge a gap… one day ;)

    I’m going to be so wise from reading your blog – just wait until my kids are teens – I’ll have followed your lead.

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely evening.
    xoxo
    Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom recently posted…Why I Think Being an Overprotective Parent Isn’t a Bad ThingMy Profile

    1. Author

      Hah! Thank you. I honestly did not see this one coming and truthfully I am scared having to add a new teen (my son) someday into the whole cell phone world. It just feels like such a case by case basis. I will definitely keep you all posted about parenting teens… I am pretty sure it will not all be smooth sailing :)
      Jen recently posted…The Happy Now Blog Link- Up # 1My Profile

  9. I love how texting brought you and your daughter closer as I feel it helped with my daughter Brooklynn and me for the same reasons you mentioned above. Just knowing she was able to text me a “Grrrrr.” or “UGH” in the middle of her day knowing she’d get a response that helped her to continue on with her day even when she didn’t want to, in all honesty, helped us both because I felt needed by my teenager again! ;-) Thanks for sharing such a sweet story!

    Wishing you a fantabulous evening!!

    Much love,
    Lysa xoxo
    Lysa recently posted…Perfectly Imperfect… Being Authentically MeMy Profile

    1. Author

      It’s interesting how that outlet does help our teens get out some of their feelings and move on with their day. I kind of wish texting was around when I was a teen! Well, mostly I wish that. We just passed notes and had long telephone conversations late into the night with our besties. Those are pretty good memories :)
      Jen recently posted…The “Gassy” TruthMy Profile

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