Over the years I have been involved in some pretty epic parenting blunders, stumbles and just down right craziness. Things that just can’t be made up and once seen can NEVER be unseen. Some of my experiences are almost made for TV fodder, perhaps like the time I could see that one of my children was a about to throw up massively inside a fast food restaurant and so I caught the majority of the spewage inside my purse. Yeah, things like that toughen you up as a parent real fast.
So today here are Ten Rookie Parenting Mistakes I can now safely avoid:
1. Do not buy decorative band-aids. Because those adorable princess, race car and happy smiling bandages are only an invitation for a child to accessorize. In a big way.
2. Do not run out of wet wipes in your purse or car. Seriously. They are cheap and plentiful. Also, there are few things more helpful in everyday life than a smart, prepared person with a well timed wipee. Be that person.
3. Understand that there is a very high likelihood that any piece of clothing worn by your child may quickly achieve “favorite” status. This cannot be reasoned with or controlled. Don’t put a piece of clothing on your child that you are not prepared to have them wear EVERY other day for the next month.
4. That 100% attendance reward? Nope. Don’t be that parent. If your child is sick don’t force them and their disease upon other children and those children’s families. Also, your child is sick so it is best to keep them home and help them get better.
5. Never use daytime TV as a primary source for parenting advice. Especially if the advice is proffered by a celebrity that is most likely using a nanny. Also important, make sure the celebrity offering advice actually has children.
6. Vanilla wafers and Oreos are NOT appropriate toddler food. If you must give them these food items, make sure they are supervised the ENTIRE time they eat them. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
7. Do whatever you can to shield your child from Caillou. Not for their sake, but for yours. I have repeating nightmares of my children learning and then employing one of Calliou’s whiny voice tactics. Save yourself now and just don’t introduce your child to him. EVER.
8. If you constantly find yourself feeling that you need to be a mediator between your child and other children in order “to explain what your child wants or feels”, then you might want to check your helicopter parent status. Special circumstances may apply, but in general if this is your norm then the problem might not actually lie with your child’s ability to interact with other children….
9. This will come with time, but being able to master the art of going into a ZEN like state will help. A lot. For example, it will help you deal with the times when perhaps your toddler pulls their pants down and pees on the slide at the park or your preschooler loudly repeats that swear word they heard to your church pastor.
10. The biggest piece of rookie parenting advice I can give though is to never be afraid to reach out for help, advice or support. Parents who have been around the block a time or two know that we are always just barely treading water and that we all need help from time to time. So don’t try to fake perfection or be afraid to ask for help.
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